Hey, book bae! Give Me Love is now available on Amazon! Here’s a quick message to prepare you for what you can expect!
Click here to grab it on Amazon! Hope you enjoy, and if you do, please leave a review and recommend it to a friend!
Until next time,
Love, B. Love
Hey, book bae! Here’s a sample of my next release that goes live 11/21 — Give Me Love. P.S. Check out the links to my most recent releases below!
Him
Unedited
The room was small, tight, cramped, and filthy, but it would have to do. At this point, Grady was just thankful to be out of the airport and away from the world. Cherish had a fit when they first arrived. She had a thing about staying in hotel rooms where the doors were outside, but she sucked it up with a pout and checked them into the room. Since she offered to share it with him, Grady paid. It was only thirty dollars, anyway.
Cherish asked to shower first, after almost having another breakdown. Since she wasn’t expecting to be stopping at a hotel, she didn’t bring her cleaning supplies to sanitize the room. All she had was a huge roll of Clorox wipes, and the front desk charged them an additional twenty dollars to get a cleaning bucket because they didn’t have anyone from housekeeping on hand. It was worth it, though, because Grady was a neat freak too.
Had they not been able to purchase a new set of sheets, he would have ended up sleeping in the chair in the room. He would have liked to walk around the building to take in his full surroundings, but Grady didn’t want to leave Cherish alone, so he opted for standing outside and taking in everything that he could see. While he was outside, he’d noticed a sex and drug exchange in less than three minutes.
Yea.
They were definitely going to have to find a way out of this town first thing in the morning.
When Grady heard her shuffling around the room, he made his way back inside. Unfortunately, the bolt to deadlock the door was broken, so he put a chair in front of it to calm her nerves. Cherish was dressed down in a black, silk pajama set, but she was just as beautiful as she was earlier.
Her shoulder length, layered hair was now pulled up into a thick ball. She’d removed her makeup, giving him a more natural view of her almond eyes, high cheek bones, and pouty lips. Cherish was the perfect size in his eyes, and if she brushed her ass and wide hips against him one more time she’d be bent over the bed as he pounded out his frustration.
Shaking those thoughts from his head, Grady grabbed his bag and headed for the bathroom. It was the size of a closet, and he felt like a giant when he stepped inside. Cherish wasn’t in the shower long, but all of the hot water was gone. He stayed in long enough to literally soap up and rinse off before he was cutting it off and shivering from the combination of the already cold room and cold water.
Looking down, Grady’s stomach turned at the dirty floor. There wasn’t a rug to step out on and his clothes were closer to the door. Apparently there was only one large towel, and Cherish had used that. He wasn’t in the business of using other peoples’ towels, so he damn near hopped across the floor onto his clothes and grabbed the small hand towel from the rack to dry himself off.
Once the towel was wet, he decided to let the rest of his body air dry as he washed his face and brushed his teeth. It wasn’t until he’d put on his boxers and t-shirt that he realized he hadn’t eaten anything all day. His stomach began to rumble, but he couldn’t bother with that right now. Even if there was a place that could deliver at this time of night, he was pretty sure he wouldn’t want it.
Right now, all he wanted to do was sleep and end this fucked up day.
As Grady left the bathroom, he noticed Cherish mumbling and pacing. Hoping that wouldn’t last long, he sat on the small sofa and shook his head at how softly thin and low it was. At this point, he couldn’t even get angry. All he could do was laugh. Never in his life did he think he’d experience such a day, but it hadn’t broken him yet.
Grady stretched out and stretched his legs over small sofa. It had to be about three feet, but he wouldn’t complain. It was by Cherish’s grace that he even had this, and he kept telling himself that it was better than being in the airport.
“Oh no. You don’t have to sleep there. Get in the bed, Grady. I don’t mind sharing it.”
Grady looked over at the bed, still unsure of what size it was. It was bigger than a twin but smaller than a full-sized bed. If she was cool with sleeping with him, Grady was cool with it too. He’d just have to… make sure somehow… that in the middle of the night he didn’t have his arms around her, and her ass pressed against his dick. It had always been his natural reaction to hold the women he shared a bed with, but that simply wouldn’t be the case tonight.
“How long are you going to be pacing and talking to yourself?” he asked, pulling the top cover back.
Cherish chuckled as she continued to pace. “Until I feel comfortable and safe enough to go to sleep. My aunt and uncle were robbed and attacked in a hotel like this and it has always bothered me. If I can avoid it at all, I never get a hotel room where the doors are outside and easily accessible to the public. Especially when they don’t have security guards on hand.”
“Cherish.” Her pacing stopped, and she gave him her full attention. “Come here, sweetheart.”
Cupping her hands in the center of her, Cherish slowly made her way over to Grady. She stood in front of him, making her way between his legs. Grady took her hands into his.
“You can get in bed now and rest assured that I’m not going to let anything happen to you, okay?”
Relaxing her shoulders, Cherish smiled softly as she nodded. “Okay,” she whispered, gently squeezing his hands.
“Come on,” Grady instructed, scooting further into the bed so that he was the one facing the door.
Her eyes landed on his wallet on the nightstand as her knee put a dent in the mattress. “You’re going to leave your wallet there? I always sleep with my wallet underneath my pillow.”
“I have the door blocked. No one will be able to get in. Relax, Cherish.”
She nodded again and released a heavy breath, finding her way inside of the bed and onto his chest. It felt natural – having her in his arms – but Grady wouldn’t dare vocalize that. Instead, he just held her close, closed his eyes, and tried his hardest to relax and go to sleep.
—
Get ready for Thursday!
Until then, here are the links to my most recent releases!
Hey, book bae!
So, originally, I wanted to release The Preying Pastor in September. This baby has taken on a life of its own! I’m close to 40,000 words done, and I’m only at the halfway point on my outline! With that being said, The Preying Pastor will be released October 1st. Keep scrolling for the synopsis and a sneak peek!
Synopsis
“She needed to be careful, for if you walk with the prey… you eventually become the prey.”
Dallas Carver-Monroe has managed to live with a fairytale façade for the past ten years. Growing up in a religiously strict home caused Dallas to do whatever it took to please her parents – even if that meant marrying her high school sweetheart, Seth, right after they graduated. Dallas and Seth had a genuine connection, but she didn’t think he was the man she was supposed to spend her life with. Still, she married him to make sure they didn’t have sex and start a family without making vows before God.
After almost twelve years of hell on earth, Dallas is tired of the happily married First Lady façade that has been forced upon her. Just when she thinks she’s about to break free, tragedy strikes, and Seth’s evil deeds and enemies become her own. Silver lining? Ra Jake.
When Ra Jake returns home, he has only two priorities – fix things with his ex, Cree, and successfully protect the Pastor’s wife. Under different circumstances, Ra would have turned down the job. Losing his last client has caused pain to plague Ra in a way that he never thought was possible. Had it not been for a favor being owed to an old friend, Ra would have never taken on the responsibility of guarding another human being’s life.
Upon first meeting, Dallas and Ra would rather be anywhere than with each other. As time progresses, they create a genuine bond so deep it’s hard for anyone, Seth and Cree included, to be able to reach. But the old saying is… all good things must come to an end. Unfortunately, this rings true for Dallas and Ra, and they will have to fight for their hearts and their lives before Seth’s horrible decisions rob them of both.
Sneak Peek
Dallas
Something felt off. This wasn’t the first time Seth had come in late… but something was definitely off. I’d been tossing and turning all night, well into the morning. Usually I was a heavy sleeper, but the sound of the garage lifting and closing woke me right up. I checked the time on my phone, not even surprised to see that Seth wasn’t making it in until three in the morning.
But something felt off.
I felt myself being pulled to go to him. To make sure he was okay. Getting out of bed, I told myself that everything was good, and my mind was just overreacting. Things had been off between us since Sunday dinner – maybe my conscience was ready for us to squash our current beef. After sliding into my robe and the Uggs I used as house shoes, I made my way down the hall towards the back door.
By the time I made it outside, Seth was closing the door behind him. Seemed like it took him quite some time to even make it to the suite, but I brushed it off thinking maybe he’d fallen asleep or was in his phone. Sometimes when Seth stayed out too late, it was a miracle that he even made it home at all. He’d go to sleep as soon as he pulled into the garage or driveway and not wake up until the sun came up.
Seth had neglected to lock the door, so I opened it and stepped inside.
“Seth?” I called out.
The suite was set up like a studio apartment with its open space. There were no walls separating the kitchen, living room area, and bedroom. The only room that really had privacy was the bathroom, but Seth had also created a separate space where he did his studying and communing with God.
“Yea?” was his reply.
His voice was low. Tired. He coughed before what sounded like spitting up. Quickly, I made my way to the bathroom, and he’d of course locked that door.
“Are you okay?”
He sniffed twice before blowing air out of his nostrils. “Yea. Get out.”
Leaning against the door, I smiled. “Why? Are you pooping?”
“Dallas…”
“I’m not leaving until I know you’re okay. Open the door so I can see you, then I’ll go.”
Seth released a loud exhale as he shuffled towards the door. He sniffed again as he unlocked the door. The second he opened it I gasped and clutched my heart through my chest. Blood was pouring from his nose and mouth, his eyes were purple and swollen, and there was a huge knot on the side of his head.
“Oh my God! What the hell happened to you?”
I tried to touch his face, but Seth pushed my hand away. Immediately, I wet a towel for his nose as he told me about what happened at the underground casino. This wasn’t the first time Seth had gotten his ass whooped because of his debt, and I was sure it wouldn’t be the last. I helped him remove his clothes then sat him on the toilet as I ran him a bath. His brown skin showed the bruises on his ribs effortlessly.
Once the tub was full of water, I poured in some Epsom salt and alcohol, then helped him get inside. While he soaked, I asked him what his plans with Plague were. He’d doubled up his bet, now he was in the hole for five hundred thousand, and he was still expected to participate in the big tournament. I had no idea how Seth planned to do either, but I had faith in him. With time, he was always able to dig his way out.
The water grew cold, so I helped him to stand. I undressed and got inside to help him shower. When we were done, I dried him off and applied his body oil. He slowly made his way to the bed while I filled bags with ice for his head and ribs. I plugged the heating pad up so he could use it once the ice numbed the pain and made myself comfortable in the chair that was next to his bed, but that didn’t last long before Seth was asking me to lay next to him.
Under different circumstances, I would have declined, but since he was in pain, I didn’t give him a hard time. I opened the bottle of Tylenol and handed him two along with a bottle of water before getting in bed next to him. As soon as I did, Seth cuddled up next to me. I began to massage his scalp as silence found us, hoping his pain wouldn’t make it too difficult for him to get to sleep.
Seth chuckled quietly making me smile before I asked, “What’s so funny?”
“I was just thinking about that time you almost let us have a dog.”
Made me laugh myself. I’d never been a fan of dogs or pets in general, but when Alexander was five, he just had to have a puppy. Luckily for him, one of the members of the church was going out of town and needed someone to watch her dog. We took that as an opportunity to see how Alexander would handle the responsibility… and to see if his excitement would fade once we had a dog in the house.
Unluckily for him, the dog was sick, so he ended up pooping uncontrollably everywhere the first day we had him. The stomach bug caught us all by surprise, so we weren’t expecting to walk into our guest room to see mounds of poop everywhere. I stepped on one, freaked out, and let’s just say the words coming out of my mouth were not very nice at all. It took me a good two weeks to fully get over that, and Seth refused to let me live it down.
“You’re never going to forget that, are you?” I asked through my chuckle.
“Nah. Not ever.” I couldn’t blame him. Neither would I. “You cried for like an hour straight, even after I cleaned your foot and the crap up. Then you went on a rampage.” Seth laughed again, this time I joined him. “That’s when things weren’t all bad, though, you know? Felt like I still had a chance to keep your love.” I didn’t really know what to say to that, so I remained quiet.
Tragedy always pulled us closer. It was always after tough times that we conceived and agreed to try and make us work. If I wasn’t careful, that would be the case tonight, and I was not having that.
“We had some good times, Dally, didn’t we?”
I released a sigh as I lowered myself further into the bed. “Yea. We almost had it all.”
Seth looked up at me, and I caressed his purple cheek. My eyes watered so I looked away. It didn’t matter how hard I fought to be free… something always pulled me back. Sometimes it was loyalty. Sometimes it was that pesky habit of giving him what he needed. And times like this, as much as I hated to admit it, it was love. For some strange reason, one that I wished wasn’t true, I still had love for this man.
Hope you’re ready for this epic tale!
Hey beloved!
So… I participated in the BLP short story anthology this time around. If you haven’t read it, here’s the Amazon link. These characters have been calling my name! I’m thinking about creating a full length novel out of it, but I’m not 100% sure. Either way, here’s my short. I hope you enjoy :)
—
For forever… or just another day
Quite frankly, Kelise would have rather been anywhere else but here. Stuck in this crowded ass living room with people on all sides of her. People that she swore she was done hanging with. Because that’s how it usually works when you break up with someone, right? You cut off all contact with their family and friends.
Well, that wasn’t the case when she broke up with Jeremih.
Okay, when Jeremih broke up with her.
For a year straight, she hadn’t been able to rid herself of his family and friends.
And boy, did she want to.
Not because they weren’t cool people, because they were, but because every time she interacted with them her mind took her straight to thoughts of Jeremih.
My Jere.
HerJere.
Except, he wasn’t hers anymore… no matter how much Kelise wanted him to be.
Kelise released a sigh as she looked down at the last sip of Hunch Punch in her red plastic cup. She’d promised Major, Jeremih’s younger sister, that she would stay at her birthday set long enough to have one drink. Major filled her cup to the hilt, and Kelise was just about done with it.
Finally.
Hunch Punch.
Even that made her mind fill with thoughts of Jeremih. He was the first person to ever fix her a cup. Jeremih warned her that even though it tasted like juice with no alcohol, it would sneak up on her and ger her drunk. Kelise didn’t listen, and after consuming three cups, she’d had the time of her life… that she couldn’t remember on her own to this day. Had their night not been recorded, Kelise would have absolutely no memories of it.
She smiled softly before closing her eyes and allowing the now room temperature liquid to slide down her throat. When she was done, Kelise wiped her mouth and searched the room for Major. With Major nowhere in sight, Kelise slid her phone in her pocket and stood to find her.
Her body shifted from side to side as she slid through small gaps of openings between people. Kelise let out a sigh of relief when she finally made it to the clear hallway. The kitchen, though crowded, wasn’t as full as the living room. Major was nowhere in sight. Walking down the hall, the thought of Major being outside crossed Kelise’s mind. Before she could turn around to head out to the patio, a large arm wrapped around her stomach as the owners body pressed into the back of hers. His hand covered her mouth, and Kelise’s anxiety shot through the roof.
He led her into the room on the left as Kelise covered his hand with hers in an attempt to push his arm down. But then… it hit her. The familiarity of his grip, the tattoo on his hand, the scent of his cologne.
Jeremih.
Kelise relaxed against him, releasing the breath that had caught within her chest. She felt a ripple of excitement pass through her the moment the door closed behind them. Her heart began to hammer wildly within her chest as Jeremih’s hand dropped from her mouth. Closing her eyes, Kelise gripped the sides of his jeans to keep him close. To keep him behind her. Away from her eyes. Because if she saw him… this moment would be real, not just a fantasy, and it would soon be over then.
Jeremih placed a soft, full kiss to her neck as his hands cupped her breasts. Seemed as if her heart rushed to every place he touched – wanting, needing, to stay close to him. To its life source. Kelise waited until the quickened pulse of her heart subsided to open her mouth and question him, but that became impossible when his right hand slid between her dress. Between her thighs.
He pressed his body into the wall with a groan, pulling her into him deeply. His closeness was overwhelming. Had always been. Jeremih projected an energy and power that undeniably drew her to him. With quickened, soft force, Jeremih turned her in his arms, hands keeping her cheeks steady as he devoured her lips with his. The mere touch of his lips against hers sent a shiver through her. And when Jeremih’s tongue slipped between her lips, Kelise sighed into his mouth and relaxed fully against him.
Their tongues warred with each other, passionately making up for lost time. Jeremih cruelly ravished her with his mouth, punished her – as if shewas the one that called things off between them and let a year pass since their last intimate moment together. The swiftness of his kisses slowed down, remaining just as intense as he palmed two handfuls of her ass and squeezed.
The strokes of his tongue became slow, drugging, paralyzing even. Making it hard for Kelise to do anything butsurrender to his control.
With roughly gentle force, Jeremih removed her from his lips and pressed the front of her body into the wall. Kelise’s breathing came out hard before she smiled and bit down on her bottom lip, pleasure intensifying as he handled her just the way she fucking liked. Her eyes closed at the sound of his pants unzipping. Holding her breath in anticipation, Kelise tried to steady her palpitating heart unsuccessfully.
Jeremih pushed her panties to the side, pressed his body against hers, and teased her folds – coating his head with her wetness. Not in the mood to be teased, Kelise pressed her ass against him and arched her back, begging silently to be put out of the pleasurable misery his caressing had caused. Slowly, Jeremih entered her, seared her, filling her with enough fire to rebrand her pussy as his all over again. Fuck that. When wasn’t it his? Her pussy tightened against him, gripping him as he filled her completely.
Lifting her hands, Jeremih pressed them into the wall as he pushed and pulled, dug himself a new, even deeper hole to her heart through her pussy. The sounds of heavy breathing and her wetness coating him as he slowly stroked her with his hardness filled the room. Kelise licked her lips and bit down on the bottom one to avoid moaning as her legs began to weaken. It had only taken five strokes, and she was already avoiding pulsing against him.
Jeremih took a handful of her hair and pulled as he commanded, “Come home to me tonight… yea?”
Her lips trembled as his free hand went to her clit. The sound of his voice affected her deeply, bringing tears to her eyes. They were as wet as her pussy as her orgasm threatened to consume her.
“Yes,” she agreed with no hesitation, but she regretted it as soon as she did because Jeremih pulled out of her and pressed his front into her back to keep her from looking at him.
Regulating her breathing, Kelise inhaled a deep one as she closed her eyes. Jeremih’s body disconnected from hers. He lowered her dress, then left. For a while, all Kelise could do was stand there in an attempt to gather herself.
To come to grips with the fact that Jeremih… her Jere… was here. Was inside. Of her. And he’d left just as quickly as he’d bombarded her with his presence and his penis. But that was Jeremih’s style. And Kelise would be damned if it didn’t still drive her crazy. When she was composed, Kelise left the room allowing a giddy sense of happiness to show through her expression. Not that she really had any control of it anyway. Her eyes went to the door, to the back of Jeremih’s frame. He stopped, as if he felt her eyes on the back of him. But he didn’t turn around and face her. He simply tilted his head and bobbed it once before walking out of the door and leaving.
—
Kelise used the key she thought she’d never use again to let herself inside of Jeremih’s home. A place she’d spent many days and nights. As soon as she entered her body weakened as her mind was consumed with memories. Running her fingers through her hair, she blinked back tears as she took her heels off. Kelise made her way down the hall, avoiding the pictures of them that still hung on the wall.
It was different – their breakup.
It hadn’t happened because either of them had done something wrong; it happened because their love was too damn right. And as much as they showed each other that love through their actions, loyalty, and commitment, Jeremih wouldn’t allow them to actually say the words. For a while, Kelise was okay with that. Because she actually had him. But when his father died and Jeremih began to shut down on her… not even his loving actions were enough.
“Jere?” she called out, sitting on the charcoal gray couch that they’d picked out together. Because when Jeremih purchased this home, he wanted her to move in, but she wouldn’t. Said she couldn’t play house with a man who refused to marry her. So Jeremih asked her to help him decorate his entire home. Said it was stilljust as much hers as it was his.
Still.
Kelise exhaled a deep breath as she ran her hands across her thighs. She felt him before he entered the living room. Her eyes shifted to the right, seconds later, Jeremih appeared. He’d always been light on his feet, able to scare her in any room at any time, just to pull her into his arms and comfort her as they both laughed. Kelise smiled at the thought. She hated it then, but it toughened her.
Gave her nothing to fear.
And if something did worry or scare her… Jeremih was alwaysthere to comfort her.
He sat next to her, hand gripping her thigh instantly. Kelise placed hers on top of his, noting the difference in their skin tones. Both had sandy brown skin, but Kelise’s held a yellow undertone compared to Jeremih’s red one. His hands, arms, chest, neck, and even the top of his right eyebrow was covered in tattoos… but he dressed in suits every day.
Jeremih was one of the toughest men she knew. Only a true act of God had the ability to destroy him. Kelise cupped his cheek and caressed it, staring into his syrupy brown eyes. He’d gone against the grain and beard trend, keeping the mustache goatee that he’d been rocking since he was twenty. Ten years later, it still looked just as good on him.
“What is this about?” Kelise asked before swallowing hard.
If Jeremih was demanding her presence… it was definitely for a reason.
“A nigga can’t just miss you?” he grumbled gruffly, looking over her face intently. Kelise smiled, lowering her head as she blushed, but his finger quickly lifted her chin. “Don’t fuck up my view.”
Wrapping her hand around his wrist, Kelise lowered it from her chin as she gave him her almond shaped, dark eyes. Jeremih had his fill of her visually. As if he was storing up this image of her to last him for another long while. His eyes lowered to her full lips. Tattooed, revealed shoulders. Big breasts. Up to her curly, tapered afro. But as usual, his eyes returned to the beauty mark that was just under her right eye.
His finger caressed it before Jeremih took her hand into his and kissed it.
“How you been?” he asked, genuine concern coating his voice.
“Spare me the small talk, Jeremih. Why am I here?”
Jeremih sat back in his seat as he loosened his tie. He had never been one to bullshit, barely speaking unless he really had something to say. That was something that drove Kelise crazy in the beginning, but eventually, she not only respected but loved and appreciated it as well. It left no room for broken promises, lies, or manipulation just to get his way.
“I want you to have my baby.”
Kelise sat up in her seat and looked at him as she chuckled. When his expression remained serious, she laughed even harder.
The men in Jeremih’s family had been cursed with a host of health issues including but not limited to enlarged hearts and kidney failure. His great grandfather died from it. His grandfather died from it. And two years ago, his father died from it. At a young age, too. No one expected heart failure to claim him at forty-seven, but it did, and it changed Jeremih completely.
Slowly, he began to detach himself from family and friends. The already unapproachable, unfuckwithable presence that he had intensified. But Kelise stuck around.
It wasn’t until a year after his father’s death that Jeremih had his first spell. He’d been having symptoms for quite some time, but he ignored them. Shook the shortness of breath, palpitations, chest pains, irregular heartbeats, and instances of his heart stopping altogether off. When he finally did go to the doctor and heard that he’d inherited their enlarged heart too, it took a little life out of him just to tell Kelise the news.
Because it made sense then. Their baby had just been born, only to have died two days later, because of an enlarged heart. Had that not happened, Jeremih wouldn’t have made the effort to go and see about himself. And it was then, when she needed him most, that Jeremih began to pull away. Sure, he stayed around for them to grieve together, but the moment he thought it was safe to do so… he removed himself from Kelise’s life completely… swearing she’d be better off with anyone but him.
Who wanted to bury their husband while they both still had life to live?
Who wanted to conceive and carry children that they weren’t sure would leave the hospital?
Kelise told him that he was proof, and so was Major, that it could be done, but in that moment, that was the last thing Jeremih wanted to hear.
So as he sat here and told Kelise that he wanted her to have his baby… she was convinced that it was a joke.
“I’m serious, Kelise.”
Kelise tried to reign her laugh in, letting it simmer into a chuckle as she shook her head. “You can’t be, because you broke up with me a year ago, remember?”
Jeremih sucked his teeth and stood, dismissing her with a wave of his hand. In typical fashion, he was done with the conversation since it wasn’t going his way. If she was anyone else, she would have been forced into submission, but Kelise was just about the only person outside of his mother and sister that he didn’t try to control. It was in his nature to be the boss, the most powerful, the protector. It was his profession to be the leader – a feared one at that.
But with Kelise?
He’d always been putty in her hands.
Fighting her giggle, Kelise gave Jeremih time to make it to his room before she stood and went after him. Truth of the matter was, she’d give him a baby and whatever else he wanted just as long as he did right by her. But this wasn’t something that would come easy. There would be no point in them discussing the past or even the pain she sustained from their breakup. But what they would have to discuss was their future… together.
Kelise knocked on the door gently with a smile, waiting patiently for Jeremih to let her in. He opened the door and looked down at her, jaw clenched. Face stone. When she first saw him, the tear tattoos under his eye alarmed her. And the fact that he was a known gang member with his set tatted right above his brow didn’t make it any better.
But that was never the side of him Kelise saw – unless someone got out of line and disrespected them while they were together, and that hardly ever happened because… who had the balls to fuck with Jeremih “Havoc” Smith? Hell, people started treating Kelise like a Queen when they found out she was attached to him out of respect, and they still did, even though they’d parted ways.
“Can I come in, Jere?”
“Depends,” was all he offered, staring at her deeply.
“On?”
“Can I cum in you?”
Kelise laughed with a shake of her head and tried to walk away, but Jeremiah grabbed her and pulled her inside of his room.
“You are crazy as hell if you think I’m going to just… give you a baby!”
Jeremih ran his hand down his face as he looked her over intently. “I don’t want you to give me a baby; I want you to have and raise one with me.”
Kelise’s stance softened, but she was nowhere near ready to vocally give in yet.
“Where is this even coming from?” she asked softly, scratching her scalp through her curls.
Jeremih took her hand into his and led her over to his bed. They sat on the edge of it, and Kelise’s entire frame froze. Before they broke up, they’d posed for a painting. She was eight months pregnant, standing in a field of sunflowers with Jeremih right by her side. Not having seen the picture before, the sight of it through the mirror, hanging over the bed, immediately broke Kelise down.
Her tears instantly began to pour, and Jeremih wasted no time wiping them from her eyes and kissing them from her cheeks. It wasn’t until she’d calmed down and her tears stopped flowing did he almost whisper, “That’s why.”
Okay. This wasn’t the way this was supposed to play out. Kelise was supposed to be getting him to open up, not the other way around. She tried to push his hands down from her face but Jeremih held on.
“Because I thought it would be easier to live my life in these streets if I was going to die soon anyway.” Her shoulders dropped at his confession. Heart skipped a whole beat. “I thought…” Jeremih licked his lips as his head shook. “You would be better off with a man who could promise you forever and actually live to see that shit. Ain’t no guarantees with me, Lee. And I…”
Jeremih’s hands dropped. Head hung.
“You what?” she pleaded, praying this was the moment she’d been waiting on since they first met. First got together. First sealed their hearts together. First tied their souls together.
Just… say you love me…she thought, covering his hand with hers.
“You what, Jere?”
Slowly, his head lifted, eyes reconnected with hers. “I loved you too much to do that to you. To make you suffer like that. To marry you and give you a baby that you’d have to raise yourself.”
“So what changed your mind?”
Jeremih’s head tilted as he flipped his hand and entangled his fingers with hers. “Because I don’t want to live without you anymore. Whether it’s for forever… or just another day… I need you to be mine, Kelise. I love you, baby.”
Her eyes watered as she giggled, pulling his face to hers.
“I love you too,” she confessed before finalizing their declarations with a kiss.
Jeremih lowered her body to the bed as her tears began to fall. A part of her mind told her to make him wait. Make him beg. Make him suffer for leaving her for a year… even if it was because he thought it was what was best for her. But as Jeremih covered her body with his, there was no doubt in Kelise’s mind that they’d already wasted enough time.
Life was too short, and love was too important to waste either being angry over things you no longer had control over or access to.
Whether it was for forever… or just another day… Kelise would love Jeremih and be loved deeply by him… until God called them both home. And even then, her spirit would be so attached to him, that she’d love him, even in the afterlife.
—
Epilogue
Kelise looked from one twin to the other, still in disbelief that she’d just given birth two beautiful babies. They named their baby boy Emmanuel Forever, after and in memory of Jeremih’s father, and their baby girl Anaday. Convinced he finally had something worth living for – a wife and his children – Jeremih had been actively doing everything he could to live a healthy life.
Unlike the men of his family past, Jeremih had gone in and gotten a handle on his issue quickly. Between his diet, exercise, and cutting out things like smoking and stress, his doctor assured Jeremih that he could live a long, prosperous, and healthy life. And even if he did begin to have issues at an older age, there were several options available to him that weren’t available when the illness first began to plague his family.
He placed a kiss to Kelise’s forehead before doing the same to the twins, and all Kelise could do was silently thank God because they had their very own permanent, physical blessings of forever anda day.
The End?
We will see…
Hey, beloved! September 1st, I’ll be back with a contemporary romance that I am absolutely LOVING, and I hope you will love it too :) Here’s the synopsis and a look at the first chapter, told from Mekhi’s point of view.
Synopsis
Mekhi Kage is every woman’s dream man. He’s suave, alpha, handsome, and wealthy. Mekhi craves control, and he likes everything to go his way. As the founder of For The People multimedia company, Mekhi is determined to put out quality content for his African American culture. So when BaddieBookBabe, an infamously tough book reviewer, gives a one star review to Mekhi’s most popular and highest paid author, he is determined to get her to remove the review… or join his team.
Because it’s best to keep your friends close and your enemies closer, right?
Jacintha Freeman, or the BaddieBookBabe as the literary industry knows her, is tough on books and even tougher on the authors that write them. She’s determined to make sure that Black people are portrayed in the brightest light and highest high in the books that are supposed to represent them. When she is recommended a book by Stone, a male author who stands for the complete opposite of what she believes in, Jacintha refuses to promote him as a noteworthy author – no matter how much Mekhi tries to get her to.
Because it’s best to stand firm on your values than fall for a handsome face, right?
When Mekhi offers Jacintha a job as his Top Critic, she is skeptical to accept, but does so with the intent of making the industry she loves better. As time progresses, enemies become lovers who turn to enemies and lovers all over again. Promises are made, secrets are kept, and reputations are destroyed. It comes as no surprise to anyone when their professional relationship turns personal, but will their love be able to stand when it wasn’t meant for each other to begin with?
Sneak Peek
For the people, or for the pocket?
August 29, 2019 – 7 P.M.
BaddieBookBabe
Sigh. I counted how many times I picked this book up and put it back down. Would you like to know how many? Seventeen. Seventeen times. I started and stopped this book, over the course of one week, seventeen times. Y’all. It was that bad.
“Trapping A Trap God” by Stone has literally become the most horrible book I’ve ever read. Admittedly, Stone’s writing isn’t that bad. He’s actually a really good writer. The way he structures his thoughts is genius. I love the way he writes in almost poetic from. The structure and flow of his books are the only thing that make for smooth reading.
So why was it so hard for me to get through the book?
First, the character development lacked depth. While Stone went to great measures to show the quirks of his characters and a few of the things that made them unique, I didn’t really get a feel for them on a personal level. Their backstories weren’t shared, so it was hard to understand why they were the way they were. I had no earthly idea who the main female character was – even her age and last name, and we didn’t even get a description of what they looked like!
The entire time I was reading I kept wondering who the hell these people really were, and because of that disconnect, it was hard for me to relate to them. To root for them. To want them to get to their HEA.
Second, there was a lot of unnecessary drama and stereotypes. Things that didn’t even have to do with the actual plot seemed to be dropped in just for the sake of this book being considered a “page turner.” This was the order of Stone’s chapters – plot play, sex scene, unnecessary drama. This was literally the outline of the entire book. By the time it ended, I counted the chapters that actually had depth and were relevant to the plot, and there were only seven of them, fam. Seven! This was a novella, at best, not a twenty-one-chapter, 81,000-word street lit romance.
Third, the idea that this was street lit romance JUST because it had a man, woman, and several sex scenes. There was no real connection shown between the main characters other than their physical connection, and obviously that didn’t matter to Andre, the main male, because he cheated three freaking times!
To Stone’s credit, the plot and story flow could have been a damn good classic, street lit novel if the unnecessary drama and excessive sex scenes were taken out. Unless this was supposed to be an erotica, then cool.
And the fourth and most important reason this book doesn’t even deserve the ONE count them ONE star I am giving it is because Stone’s main characters perpetuated everything that is wrong with the urban/street lit genre today! Andre was a womanizing manipulator who basically disrespected and dogged ShaVonda out the entire novel, just for him to have a change of heart in the third to last chapter of the book. Seriously? Third to last? He’s been treating this girl like crap for 97% of the book, and he finally sees her worth after all the crap he’s put her through, and boom! He gets it together?
Of course, ShaVonda forgives him yet again and takes him back, even though he has two outside babies on the way. Stone made ShaVonda weak and spineless in an attempt to make her a rider. A down ass bitch.
Chile.
I just… no. I’m not entirely sure if the founder actually knows his mission and how completely opposite of it Stone’s books are. How detrimental they are. Maybe he knows and doesn’t care. Maybe FTP isn’t for the people… it’s for the founder’s pockets. Granted, Stone has the potential to be an amazing author, if he keeps on putting out toxic and problematic content like this, I will not only put him on my do not read list… but the entire roster of authors over at For The People as well.
Catch you on the next page,
© BBB ©
Mekhi slammed his laptop shut and had to keep from shoving it off his desk as he groaned lowly. He snatched the phone off the receiver and dialed one for his assistant. Camille answered in half a ring, and she agreed just as quickly when Mekhi muttered, “Get me Karin – now.” After slamming the phone down, he scrubbed his hand across his face as he inhaled a deep breath. This was not the kind of review Mekhi wanted to start his day with.
BaddieBookBabe, or Triple B as they called her around For The People, had a monumental following of readers and supporters. She had the ability to make or break a book’s success if she reviewed it. While “Trapping A Trap God” was three months old, her negative review of it could potentially cause support of Stone’s next release to plummet.
A pinched, tension filled expression covered Mekhi’s face. He would need to have her review taken down. Soon. With over nineteen thousand followers on her blog, if even ten percent of them saw that review… Stone would be screwed. Mekhi’s head began to spin at the sound of Karin’s signature knock.
“In,” he ordered, sitting back in his seat. His arms crossed over his chest as Karin closed the door behind her and timidly stepped inside.
There were two chairs across from Mekhi’s at his cherry wood desk. Karin chose to sit in the one that was on the right. Her eyes looked up, above his head, to the family picture that hung behind his desk.
“Have you read Triple B’s review for Trapping?” Mekhi asked, not having the energy to beat around the bush.
Karin lowered her eyes and met his. She gave him one soft nod as she cupped her hands in her lap.
“Yes. I read it before heading to work.”
“You didn’t think to tell me she’d posted it?”
“Well, I knew you would be upset, and I didn’t want to be the bearer of bad news.”
Mekhi chuckled as he caressed his beard. He searched her eyes for seconds on end before sitting up in his seat and crossing his arms on top of his desk. “You’re the Top Critic for the literary division of For The People. If anyone gives any of our books a negative review, it should be you. That’s literally what I pay you for, Karin. To read books and give me an analysis on what’s good and what’s bad. What’s solid and what needs to be changed. What readers will love and what they will hate. How it flows and needs to be restructured. None of the things she mentioned on her blog stood out to you when you were reading Trapping?”
Karin sat further in her seat as she nibbled on her bottom lip. “Yes, but I didn’t think it would be perceived as negative things. Stone gave what the urban genre buys.”
“All money is not good money. I would rather Stone’s books be realistic, relatable, gritty, and good than…” Mekhi’s head shook. The words were stuck deep within his throat. He wouldn’t dare say that the books were bad out loud. Lifting his hands in surrender, Mekhi pulled his laptop back to him and opened it. “If you can’t do your job, I will find someone who can do it for you. Dismissed.”
Karin stood quickly, not even bothering to say anything else. It wouldn’t have mattered if she did anyway. When Mekhi was done with a conversation… the conversation was done.
As Karin closed the door behind her, Mekhi opened his current work in progress. It was set to release in two months, and Mekhi was sure that it would be the book that got him his first New York Times Bestseller accolade. When he chose to use a pen name for his career as an author, it was because he never wanted his role as founder of For The People to generate fake love and support. If his books did well, Mekhi wanted it to be because of his writing, not because of the influence and fame that came because of his multimedia company – thus Stone was born.
He’d been writing in recluse for the past five years, even though he’d been writing ever since he was thirteen. There were a few people here and there who complained about the way he told his stories behind the façade of Stone, but none of them hated it as much as BaddieBookBabe did. It never failed – every time one of her followers asked her to review one of his books, she would always give them two or less stars. Only once had Mekhi been able to snag a three star review out of her, and that was closer to the start of his career. He hadn’t gotten as bold and raw with his voice yet, and that was probably why it was easier for her to stomach.
This book was supposed to be the one that took his writing career to the next level, and now, he was doubting every word of it. But Mekhi had never been one to quit, especially when it was something he really wanted. That spot on the New York Times Bestseller list would be his, organically, and now… Triple B’s approval was on his goal list too. First, he’d need to figure out how to please her, because he was sure at this point that her beef with him was personal.
The books that he’d written in the past didn’t have the same complaints as “Trapping A Trap God” did, and she reviewed them negatively just as well. Was it simply Stone that she couldn’t stand? Would his name on a book always warrant a low review from her? Mekhi wasn’t sure… but he would damn sure find out.
—
Oooh Chile! I cannot wait for you to read this story! Drop me a comment if you’re ready for more!
Hey, beloved!
We finally have a release date for Fingers on his Soul, and it is 8.20.19! Before I share the synopsis and sneak peek with you, I have two really quick announcements.
1. The BLP Winter Wonderland Meet & Greet is less than 3 months away! We have an amazing lineup of authors that would love to meet you! Check out the flyers below. To register to attend, click here.
2. I have FINALLY updated my paperback store! A lot of my books have gotten new covers and formatting done. About 10 of them will be available on Amazon as ebooks tomorrow and Tuesday, but if you’d like the pretty paperbacks for your collection, check out my store here. I also have new journals and nonfiction books here. If you are attending the event, I will not have ANY paperbacks for books published BEFORE “Til I Overflow” or any Shenaé Hailey titles. Again, I will NOT have any paperbacks on hand for any books published BEFORE I published “Til I Overflow.” April, 2019. So, if you want to order any books published before that or any Shenaé Hailey titles, you will need to order them from my site. If you are attending the event and would like to preorder some books, shoot an emailed list of titles to emailblove@gmail.com for an invoice :)
Alright, now that that is how out of the way… let’s get to that synopsis and sneak peek!
Synopsis
Montana Moon doesn’t play – especially when it comes to the women in his life. One minute, he can be brash, outspoken, and possessive and the next… a protector, calm, and diplomatic. For all of his life, Montana has sought to fill the voids in his heart because of the absence of his parents. He’d rather have a roster of women than rely on just one to give him the attention, affection, and validation he craves. And that has always been okay… until Anastasia challenges him.
Anastasia Patrick has always had a crush on her best friends’ brother, Montana. Over the years, that crush turned into infatuation, infatuation became admiration, admiration nurtured respect, and respect bloomed love. One night between the two teaches Anastasia a hard lesson – when a person shows you who they are, believe them – and after years of pining over Montana, she finally decides to let him go.
But… fate decides to play a cruel joke on them, binding them together in the most permanent way possible. Will Montana make Anastasia regret the love she’s wasted on him, or will she be the ultimate motivation for him to reach his full potential as she softens the hoodlum with her fingers on his soul?
Sneak Peek
Montana
Montana gripped his dick through his jeans as his eyes lowered to Anastasia’s ass. He had no idea he’d catch her at Bella’s Boutique on this beautiful late summer afternoon, but he was glad he did. The red, sheer one piece lingerie that she held up to her would look damn good against her skin in Montana’s opinion.
He walked over to her and stood behind her. Immediately, her shoulders tensed. Did she smell him? Feel him? Montana lowered himself to her ear, and when she shivered as he brushed his nose against it, his dick throbbed.
“I wanna see you in this.”
Anastasia turned towards him, smile already spreading. She was truly the most beautiful woman Montana had ever seen. From her cashew colored skin and big, slanted whiskey brown eyes to her sculpted cheek bones, pointy nose, and juicy ass lips. Anastasia changed her hair every six weeks seemed like. Now, it was waist length, aqua and deep green in color. On anyone else, he would have said the shit was ratchet as hell, but on Anastasia… hell… she could make anything look classy.
And she was slim thick as fuck. Flat stomach, small waist, wide ass hips and a fat peach shaped ass. His favorite parts of her were her plump breasts that he assumed were C cups and her thighs. They weren’t super thick, but they had a little weight on them. Quite frankly, Montana was an ass and thigh man. The thought of her thighs wrapped around him as he fucked her deeply, gripping her ass and spreading her cheeks…
“What has gotten into you?” Anastasia smiled with her mouth and her eyes as she looked up at him. “We don’t talk to each other like that.”
That was true, but Montana was close to saying fuck the promise he’d made to his sister about not going after Anastasia. She was a grown woman. If she wanted to take a chance on him, who was Mei to stop it? Who was Mei? His reason.
Reason went out the window the second he began to fantasize about Anastasia in that red, in his bed. Montana’s arm wrapped around her, and he squeezed her ass. Relief filled him so much he moaned deep within his throat as he pulled her into him. This. He’d been wanting this… her… since they’d met.
“You telling me if you were single I couldn’t have you?” Montana’s hand slid up until the tips of his fingers grazed her opening. Her eyes fluttered as her mouth opened partially. “That what you sayin’, Tasia?”
Her head nodded slowly as she put her hands into his chest and gently pushed him away. It wasn’t until she was out of his space that Anastasia was able to get her bearings and speak.
“Yes. You are not the committing type, and that’s the only type I deal with.” Turning her back to him, she picked up the one-piece she’d set down when he spoke. “What are you doing here anyway?”
“You really wanna know?”
With a chuckle, Anastasia placed the lingerie back on the rack. “Not at all.”
I hope you are ready for them! To be notified of their release, join my mailing list http://bit.ly/readblove or text BLOVE to 42828 or my text message service text blove to 77948
Write for you soon,
B. Love
Hey, beloved.
I’m working on my next piece of work. It’s part two of my Memphis Hoodlums Standalone series. The first book in the series, Straddling His Soul, featured Mei and Haji. Book two features Mei’s older brother, Montana, and her best friend, Anastasia. No release date yet, but it will come out before this month is over. Here’s a sneak peek :)
Montana
This was the third time Anastasia’s picture had popped up on ol’ boys’ phone and he ignored her call. It was taking everything within Montana to not yoke him up. Montana didn’t normally make it a habit to look down at his client’s phones while he was cutting their hair, but the man’s phone had been going nonstop. It went from continuous chimes to ringing.
Even though Montana was aware of the fact that Anastasia was seeing someone, he didn’t know who. They’d never made it a habit of talking about their relationships to each other, and they both were too private to post pictures of their significant others on their social media. Well, Anastasia was too private; Montana didn’t post his women because they switched up consistently.
Montana continued to cut the man’s hair, trying to remain as calm as he could. It was one thing for him to ignore Anastasia’s calls, but it was something totally different for him to disrespect her while doing so.
“These bitches crazy, man,” he grumbled, having no idea who in the hell he was venting to. Montana had never cut the man’s hair before, and he was sure he would never have the chance to do it again. Montana didn’t believe in coincidences, so he knew Geno calling in sick so Montana could take his heads for the day was a blessing in disguise. Not only would he get paid twice as much, but he’d be able to finesse Anastasia’s buster ass nigga to let him know how he really felt about her in the process.
“Shorty can’t catch a hint?” Montana asked, trying to sound amused and interested.
“Hell nah. She blowing my shit up like that’s gon’ make me answer her phone calls. Ion wanna hear shit she got to say.”
“Aw yea? What she on?”
“Man.” The man ran his hand over his face as he sighed. “Just some bullshit. Accusing me of some thangs that she ain’t got no proof of. And even if she did, her ass ain’t going nowhere.”
Montana chuckled, mumbling, “I feel ya,” before returning his attention to the back of his head.
Sitting his clippers down, Montana brushed the excess hair from the man’s head and shoulders. After putting the brush down, Montana gripped the cape around the man’s neck and squeezed. His fingers went to the cape and he attempted to pull it down unsuccessfully. Montana’s grip around it was far too tight for him to move until Montana wanted him to. Struggling to breathe, the man tried to lift himself from the seat as Montana strangled him, but Montana pulled him back down.
“I’m only going to say this once,” Montana gritted lowly into his ear. “You hurt her or disrespect Anastasia in any way, I’ll kill ya. Do you hear me?” The man’s fingers clawed at Montana’s hands as he tightened his grip on the cape. “I said, do you fuckin’ hear me?”
“He can’t answer you, young blood,” Hogan, the old head that came to gossip every afternoon spoke up. “He can’t even breathe.”
With a smirk, Montana tightened his grip further. “Nah, but he can nod his head. Can’t you?”
The man nodded rapidly. Montana held him for a few seconds longer before releasing him. As soon as he did, the man fell forward in his seat and clutched his neck, coughing and breathing deeply as tears fell from his red eyes.
“That’s twenty-five for the cut,” Montana mumbled nonchalantly, snatching the cape from his heaving chest. “The warning is free.”
Still holding his neck with one hand, the man stuck shaking fingers into his pocket and pulled out two folded up twenties. After tossing them in Montana’s direction, he jumped up from the floor and jogged out of the barber shop. Montana released a content sigh as he shoved the money into his pocket. Grabbing the broom next to his station, he swept up the cut hair as everyone in the shop continued to stare at him silently. When he was done, Montana put the broom away as he asked, “Who got next?”
__
I hope you’re ready for them!
To be notified first of their release, sign up for my mailing list - http://bit.ly/readblove or text BLOVE to 42828
For text message updates sent directly to your phone – text blove to 77948
Also, if you’re on Facebook, you can join my group for character visuals - The Honeycomb with Author B. Love
Hey, beloved! I have two more novellas for you this month!
First — Til I Overflow — 4/16
She wanted to fill him with love and drowned in the overflow.
It was ironic. Poetic Justice, maybe? Whatever the case, Rakeem Owens escaped the streets, and at his retirement party, his home was raided, and he was arrested for a crime he didn’t commit. After spending seven years in prison, he is given the opportunity of early release with two major stipulations – probation and volunteer work to give back to the community the Judge believed he took so much from. With no hesitation, Rakeem agrees, but when he finds out that he’ll be serving under Maliah Dixon… jail seems to be a better option.
It was karma. Fate, maybe? Whatever the case, Maliah Dixon is thrilled when she finds out Rakeem will be volunteering with her organization. She started it with her best friend before he went to jail, and it has been her main priority ever since.
Rakeem’s heart has been closed and guarded for years, and it will take more than a familiar pretty face and nice frame to soften him toward any woman. But Maliah is determined to not only fill him with her love but be cleansed in the overflow. There is one problem with both water and love, though. Both were soft enough to cleanse and give life yet hard enough to drown and destroy anyone or anything who stand in their way.
Sneak Peek 💕
Maliah
My overthinking ass just knew tonight would be the night he proposed. Even though we’ve only been dating for eight months, tonight had to be the night. Only reason I was so sure was because I found the ring in his top drawer, a month back. I was spending the night at his place and wanted to sleep in one of his shirts. Damon was in the shower, so I went through the drawer to get it myself. Any shirt would do, but I specifically like the Hanes brand with the blue lining around the top.
In my search for one of those, I brushed my knuckle against the box at the bottom of the drawer. It had been driving me crazy not saying anything about it for the past month. No matter how hard I tried to forget I saw the beau‐ tiful ring, the thought of it kept popping into my brain at the most inconvenient times.
Honestly, I didn’t think we were ready for marriage, but if Damon wanted to make that leap, I would sure enough make it with him. For the longest time, I’d been a hopeless romantic. A true lover of love. All I wanted out of my life was to help people have the best weddings possible as I waited patiently for a wedding and marriage of my own.
Being a part-time wedding planner could truly suck at times. Made me wonder when I’d be planning my own wedding instead of helping women have the one of their dreams. Finally, that time was now.
But, if I was to be completely honest, I couldn’t say that I was in love with Damon. Couldn’t say he was the man I thought I’d spend the rest of my life with. No. Rakeem was the man I thought I’d spend the rest of my life with. He was the man I was in love with. The man who took possession of my heart and had yet to give it back.
Second — The Muse Next Door — 4/26
Audre Lorde Berry found inspiration in everything and everyone. Always carrying her poetry book, diary, and camera, Audre challenged herself to find the beauty of one thing daily. When her new neighbor moves in… she’s sure the God of Creativity has smiled down on her.
Everything about Qasim Houston screams at Audre’s creativity. From his handsome face to his perfectly chiseled frame, Audre is sure Qasim is the perfect muse. She finds herself painting him, photographing him, even dreaming about him. But what happens when the perfect muse of her dreams becomes a nightmare?
Audre
You know what, I think I’m going to make you wait for this sneak peek 🥰
Catch me back here in a week?
Until next time,
Love, B
Hey, you!
Tomorrow, the crew returns one last time in My Savage and his Side Chick: The Finale.
Here’s one last look before it goes live tomorrow!
Javaris
“You need to go.” I grabbed Jada’s clothes from the floor and tossed them to her. “Get up and get dressed. This was a mistake.”
Her tongue rolled across her cheek as she chuckled. “I thought you told me you broke up with her?”
“Clearly I lied.”
She nagged me as I dressed but I didn’t give half a fuck, so I ignored it. I wasn’t expecting Kaia to come after me once I left because she seemed so unconcerned about fixing things between us. In all of the time we’d messed off with each other, she’d never really fought for me. For us. Whatever I said was pretty much law. But she was changing and moving differently than she ever had before, and I couldn’t help but wonder why.
Why it seemed like she’d been changing ever since she sat at that table with that nigga.
Whatever the reason, I was pretty sure things between us were done. As much as I wanted to try to string her along, there was no coming back from her seeing me give Jada the business from behind.
“Why are you trying to get rid of me so quickly? She’s gone now.” Jada made her way over to me, running her hands down my chest. “We can pick up where we left off.”
As tempted as I was, I couldn’t say for sure that Kaia wasn’t going to say anything to Amari. She said she wasn’t, but who knew if that would be the case after she talked to her sister and Lauren. They might have her on that woman scorned shit, and I needed to make sure there were no traces of Jada in my apartment when I lied.
“This can’t happen again, Jada. And tell no one about it.”
Done with the conversation, I grabbed my keys and headed out of the room with her following behind me. I’d picked her up from her best friends house right after I left Kaia, fully prepared to spend the day deep in them guts until it was time for me to hit the streets.
“How are you supposed to be a boss, but you scared of the next nigga?”
She was trying to get a rise of me, but I wouldn’t give her that.
“That’s my best friend, Jada.”
“Don’t give me that bullshit. You’re scared of Mari, and you know what?” Jada hopped in front of me, keeping me from going out of the front door. “I don’t even blame you.” She smiled before licking her lips and grabbing my dick. “But for this, I’ll protect you.”
Removing her hand, I walked past her and opened the door. “Just get the fuck out so I can take your ass on.”
—
Hope you’re ready to 1click tomorrow!
Hey! I’m back! Today, I’m wrapping up the finale for My Savage and his Side Chick, so I will have it available for you soon! In the meantime, here’s a look into the first chapter to hold you over until it comes out!
Unedited
Kaia
Quickly, I dressed and hoped I could meet Javaris at his place before he started his day. By the time I got to his house he was already there. Instead of knocking, I decided to let myself in to surprise him. On the way there, I’d stopped by the liquor store and gotten a bottle of his favorite – Hennessy. It wouldn’t make up for having sex with another man, but I was hoping I could get him drunk enough for my confession to go in one ear and out of the other.
Quietly, I closed the door behind me and headed down the hall. The bottom level of the house was completely still, so I figured he was up in his room asleep. Javaris was hardly ever at home, and when he was he spent that time sleeping or showering. Sure enough, I heard the TV coming out of his room when I was about a foot away. The door was cracked, so I peeped inside, expecting to see him sound asleep.
But he was wide awake.
And not only was he wide awake...
But he wasn’t alone.
Tears filled my eyes immediately at the sight of him pounding into her.
The bottle of Hennessy slipped from my hand. I covered my mouth as her name slipped from it through a quiet whisper.
“Jada.”
Glass shattered. Brown liquor splattered against the floor and walls. My leg. But I didn’t even care. Not in that moment. In that moment, all I cared about was the sight before me. Of the man I’d come to fix issues with fucking someone else. And not just someone else – his best friend’s little sister. Her ass had literally just turned eighteen.
Covering my mouth, my head shook as my eyes watered more. Jada busied herself with covering her body, sadness overtaking her face. What was once an expression of ecstasy had quickly become one of regret. Javaris leaped from the bed, snatching his boxers in the process. Not wanting him to try to get to me, I forced myself to move, stepping on broken glass. Glass that was just as broken as my heart.
Its pieces jumbled around my rib cage as I briskly jogged down the hall.
But did I have the right to be mad?
Because I’d just had sex with another man.
Yes, I could say with 100% confidence that that wouldn’t have happened if Javaris would have been treating me better, but I could have easily broken up with him on my birthday and it wouldn’t have been cheating.
By the time I’d made it to my car, I felt like I could breathe again, but that quickly came to a stop when I felt Javaris grab my forearm and use it to turn me around. Pressing my body into my car, he stared at me with wide eyes, mouth open as he panted. He’d run after me with only boxers and one Nike slide on.
At first, I thought it was because he wanted to make sure I was okay, but I realized that wasn’t the case when the first words out of his mouth were, “You can’t tell Amari about this. He’ll kill me.”
With a slight chuckle, I inhaled deeply and took a moment to calm myself before replying. Because my reply wouldn’t have come through words. It would come through fists swinging. And me and Catalina promised not to resolve our issues with violence. Not after what happened to Marco.
“That’s all you care about right now?” His head lowered, but I lowered my eyes to be able to still look in his. “You don’t give a damn about the fact that I just caught you having sex with another woman, not even a full hour after you left my place trying to fix things between us. My hurt doesn’t matter to you. It never has, has it?”
Javaris lifted his head and looked at me briefly before looking away again.
“Are you going to tell him or not?”
“Is she the first one, Javaris?”
He met my eyes again. “No.” Lowering his shoulders, he released a breath of relief. “She’s not. I’ve been fucking off with Dreya too. And before her it was someone else. But none of that matters right now. You had my heart. As much of it as I had to give. But I won’t have a heart or my life if you tell Amari. Promise me that you won’t tell him, Kaia.”
At a loss for words, my left leg shook as I blinked rapidly in disbelief. With a chuckle, I turned and tried to get in the car. Clearly, I meant absolutely nothing to him. I guess this moment was what it would take to get me to leave his ass alone, because all of the love I swore I had for him slowly began to fizzle within my stomach. If I didn’t get away from him soon, the rumbling in my stomach would lead to me throwing up everything I’d had for breakfast.
Right at his feet.
At least then he’d have a visual representation of how sick he made me.
Before I could open the door, Javaris was turning me around again. With his hand wrapped around my neck, he pinned me against the car a second time. Squeezing gently, he requested, “I need you to promise me, Kaia. If you care about me at all…”
Now that made me laugh as I tried to claw his hand away from my neck, but he held it tighter. “Fuck you.”
“Kaia. Please. I’m begging you. He will kill me. You cannot tell him.”
For the first time in almost two years, there was fear in Javaris’ voice, eyes, and all over his face. And it wasn’t fear over losing me. Even with the truth of his infidelity staring at him, at me, he still chose not to value me. It was fear over losing his life.
As much as I loathed him in this moment, I couldn’t stomach having his death on my hands. It would probably eat at me like crazy if I kept this from Amari, but I would try.
“I won’t tell him. Now get the fuck off me.”
He held me for two or three seconds more before releasing me. Taking a step back, Javaris closed his eyes and ran his hands down his face. With a slow shake of his head, his hands and shoulders fell.
“I’m sorry, Kiy.”
“Save it.”
Just like always, I came second. I was an afterthought. But no more. How could I have been so stupid? Choosing loyalty to Javaris when Liam was there, all along, willing to love and cherish me like I needed. For way too long, I’d allowed loyalty to make me a fool. But no more. From this point forward, I was only going to be loyal to my heart and loyal to those who were loyal to me.
Hey hey hey!
Tomorrow, I drop an urban romance BOMB. Thief will be yours to indulge in, in less than 24 hours!
Synopsis
Thief: A person who steals another person's property, especially by stealth and without using force or violence.
Luca Kareem and Riana Santee made an exchange a little over eight years ago - a heart for a heart.
Riana had no problem relinquishing her heart to Luca, but Luca preferred spreading his love and his body thinly to almost every attractive woman he came in contact with. After a year of warring for a place in his heart, Riana finally gives up, but when Luca leaves her, he takes her heart with him.
Riana Santee and Herbert Jacks made an exchange a little under seven years ago - a life for a life.
Herbert had no problem saving Riana's life, knowing that one day, she'd be able to return the favor in the most lethal way. She'd become a heartless, emotionally detached hit-woman, stealing the hearts of men on her path just for fun. It's when Riana chooses to leave her life of crime that Herbert decides to cash in on that last lethal favor.
When Luca and Riana's paths cross again, Riana has the opportunity to not only reclaim her heart but stop Luca's as well. There's just one problem; the Luca of now is not the Luca from back then. This Luca has the ability to not only return Riana's heart but make her love him twice as deeply with it as well. Will Riana finally receive her revenge, or will she end up losing more than she ever thought was possible because of her love for Luca Kareem?
Sneak Peek
Unedited
A life for a life – that had always been their agreement. Herbert saved her life, so she took lives for him.
“Since when do you need details on the mark, beauty? Why is your answer no longer an automatic yes?”
Riana massaged the center of her wrist with her right thumb. It was a habit she’d been unable to shake. Not since that night. It was one of the last places he’d touched her, and it was the only way she’d felt connected to him since. Not that she wanted to be connected to him. No. That would be stupid of her. That would be utterly stupid of her to want such a thing.
“I don’t work as a hit-woman full time anymore, Herbert. You know that.”
Herbert smiled as he sat up in his seat. “I know that, but I didn’t know that included me too.”
Mirroring his smile, Riana sat up in her seat. “Who is it and why do you want him dead?”
Interlocking his fingers, Herbert licked his lips and remained silent, piquing Riana’s interest. Sitting back, he lifted his legs and crossed his ankles on top of the table. With his hands locked behind his head, Herbert closed his eyes and pulled in a long breath.
“Luca Kareem.”
There was no moment of fear greater than the one right now. Riana’s heart literally stopped at the sound of his name. This wasn’t the first time someone had mentioned him. In fact, her grandmother had done so hours earlier. But this was the first time she’d heard his name in seven years, and that still hadn’t been enough time for it to not affect her.
Riana’s hand trembled as she slid it down her face. Standing, she wiped her sweaty palms across her pants as she whispered, “No.” She grabbed her purse to leave, and Herbert allowed her to get to the door and touch the doorknob before asking…
“Leaving Memphis turned you soft on me?” Riana released the knob but kept her back to him. “He hurt you. Damaged you seemingly beyond repair. That day and night changed you, and it was all because of him. The baby, the breakup, not having anywhere to live, getting raped. That bum tried to kill you, beauty. All of that was because of Luca. And the fact that he told you the biggest, most hurtful lie of all. He said he loved you, but he treated you like shit. He owes you his life, Riana. Make him pay.”
He’d been feeding her the same speech over the years, and Riana couldn’t help but wonder if this moment was why. She’d come here, making it clear that she was about to retire, and now, he wanted her to kill the only man she’d ever loved. The only man she’d ever given access to her heart to.
The thief.
Luca had stolen her heart with no remorse. No regard. And Riana wasn’t sure she’d ever get it back.
Herbert made his way behind her, and although his touch was tender, she froze when his hands squeezed her shoulders. The feel of his lips on her neck made her shudder.
“I’ve waited to give him to you. It’s time, beauty.”
Everyone in the streets and law enforcement knew about the war between Herbert’s family and Luca’s family. It had gotten so bad that any time a murder or crime was committed to one person in the family, they automatically put the other family at the top of the suspect list. The feud started close to twenty-five years ago when Herbert Jacks’ father was rumored to have stolen from Luca’s grandfather. Ever since, the back and forth feud has led to countless thefts, fights, and murders.
The last? Herbert’s middle son was murdered. Although they couldn’t prove it, Herbert was sure it was Luca’s father or his brother’s doing. Even with Luca’s father being long gone, Herbert was dead set on making the Kareem family pay, and now… he wanted to use Luca and Riana to do it.
“I can’t, Herbert.”
“Why not?” Herbert’s voice, though calm, was laced with irritation. She turned to face him, and his face was covered with distress. “He stole your heart. Left with it without your permission. Take back what belongs to you, Riana.” As if he was sure she would agree, Herbert turned to return to his seat. “I want his heart. I want his life. You owe me this. When you pay up, I will make it clear to the streets that you are off limits. That the Femme Fatale is out of commission. And if anyone gives you a hard time because they suspect you are her, I will handle them personally. But that’s only after you deliver him to me. A life for a life, remember? You will not survive in Memphis without me. There are too many bitter women and family members needing answers for the lives of the men you took. You will be a walking target, whether they can prove you are the Femme Fatale or not.”
“Okay!” Riana pulled at her hair gently, growling quietly under her breath. “I’ll take care of it.”
Herbert smiled softly before it turned into a full laugh. “I knew you would.”
—
TOMORROW!!!
I don’t know why I feel like I’m about to cry as I write this.
Okay. Let me take some deep breaths and get my life together.
Okay.
Hey beloved!
For the past three years, I have been consistently leaving my mark on the literary world. Just this year alone, I not only started my publishing company but won AAMBC’s romance author of the year award. To put it simply, B. Love has had an AMAZING ride.
With time, I’ve become known for some wonderful things. Mostly, being a master storyteller that takes readers on an emotional rollercoaster with relatable women and swoon worthy men all while teaching about self-love and women’s empowerment.
Eventually, B. Love will retire from books and focus on other creative avenues. In preparation for that leap, I have decided to separate the genres I write under and use a second pen name. Starting 1/1/2019, B. Love will only publish urban romance novels, and ALL of my contemporary romance novels will be published under the pen name Shenaé Hailey.
I could give you a long and drawn out explanation of why this separation is taking place… but I’d rather show you. Buckle up, baby. 2019 is about to be LIT.
I’m going to drop the cover and synopsis for my contemporary romance debut under Shenaé in my facebook group - Love in Written Form 12/18. After that, it will be shared via mailing list. As of now, I’m only using my FB group and mailing list to give updates and interact with readers, so please join me! Also, if you’d like to receive the links for my releases as text messages, I’ve got you covered with that too!
Mailing list - bit.ly/readShenae
Text messages list (Links and coupon codes only sent via text) - text Shenae to 77948
Facebook group - bit.ly/chatwithShenae
Facebook page - www.facebook.com/authorshenae
Thanks in advance for continuing this journey with me.
B. Love
Hey!
I’m not sure if you saw my announcement, but I decided to make “The Love We Share” available as a paperback only. It’s now available for purchase! Here’s a look into the first chapter :)
Synopsis
Kai's goal has always been to protect and preserve his best friend's heart. When Roux decides she's ready for love, Kai takes it upon himself to find the perfect man for her. Never did he imagine he'd face that man when he looked in the mirror.
Roux
They were so happy and in love it made me sick to my stomach. Like I wanted to literally throw up as I watched them try to kiss each other through their smiles. Don’t get me wrong, I was happy to be a part of Sanchez’s New Year’s Eve proposal to my best friend, but their love was a loud reminder of how loveless my life was.
Well, I had love from my family and friends, but there was no love in my heart from and for a man. That wasn’t something I’d wanted like most women. Commitment, marriage, and babies weren’t anywhere in my plans for my life. Then I saw the happiness and peace that love gave Zion. And Kailor. And Frankie. And Sanchez. And Warren.
Me, Kai, and Destin were the only people in our mini family that were still single, and I was starting to hate being in that number. Don’t get me wrong, the single life was cool, but it was times like tonight that made me hate it. It was easy for Kai and Destin to pick a woman to have on their arm. Hell, their standards weren’t nearly as high as mine.
And that was part of the reason I remained single too.
Just didn’t feel like going through the hassle of having my expectations not met leading to disappointment.
I’d been spending most of my time at the bar taking pictures of everyone in attendance along with myself, and I knew that would be over when Kai slowly sauntered over to me. Kai was the kind of man that knew he looked good and used that to his advantage. He had cocoa brown skin that covered a tall, muscular build. I’d say he went to the gym around three times a week, and it definitely showed. His muscles were intentional, causing almost every woman he came in contact with to have to take a second look. His eyes were tight and dark, and he had that mustache goatee thing going on. Skin colored, medium sized lips covered a beautiful set of pearly whites. Most times, he was always in white like Kailor. And a baseball hat.
This was the third time he’d tried to pull me away, and every time I turned him down. His eyes were resting low and his smile was wide, letting me in on the fact that he had reached his alcohol limit for the night.
Kai sat next to me and exhaled a breath as he looked my body over. Even with the scent of alcohol tainting his breath, I could still smell the peppermint gum he must have recently spit out.
“Get your ass up and dance or some shit, Roux. The fuck you over here looking all sad for? Now is the time to celebrate. We ‘bout to bring in the new year together, The Wanderers are doing good as hell, and your best friend just said yes to marrying the man of her dreams.”
Before I could stop myself, my eyes were rolling as I turned away from the dancefloor and towards the wall that was covered with every liquor you could think of. I waved the bartender down and asked for another shot of Jose Cuervo.
Kai leaned back in the stool, stretching his arms across the top of the bar. “You gon’ act like you don’t hear me, Roux?”
Continuing to ignore him, I thanked the bartender after he placed the shot in front of me before knocking it back. Kai hadn’t even allowed me to put the shot glass back down on the bar before he was grabbing my hand and dragging me to the dancefloor. No lie, I was irritated at first, but the second he looked back at me and winked I fell into a fit of giggles. Kai was probably the only man I would ever let handle me this way, mainly because he was the only man I trusted fully, and he took full advantage of it.
Good thing about that was, most times I was the one who benefited from him taking advantage of my trust. Whether it was because he got me to face a fear, achieve a goal, do something risky… or… dance and enjoy myself at the party that was my idea to begin with.
“Stan” by 6LACK was playing since that was one of Frankie’s current favorites. Slow dancing with Kai wasn’t something I would have chosen to do, but I allowed him to wrap his arms around me anyway. Hopefully one dance would be enough to get him to leave my ass alone.
Keeping me snugly in the middle of his chest, Kai looked down at me with question in his eyes. Since I wasn’t sure I’d have the answer, I didn’t bother asking him what was on his mind.
“You want to talk about it, Roux?”
My head shook as I lowered my arms from around his neck. I slid my hands down his arms, resting them at his wrists. It was taking all I had to not push his arms down from me and take off to cry in the bathroom. He wouldn’t understand.
None of them would.
“Talk to me, baby doll.”
Kai’s hand went to my cheek, and he used it to lift my head. I closed my eyes, not wanting them to leak in front of him. Somehow, I was in the middle of Frankie and Kailor – not hiding my emotions but not crying at the drop of a dime either. Even though I was fairly free with my emotions, this was too vulnerable of a topic to discuss with someone. Including my best friend.
“I’m good,” I lied, inhaling deeply as I opened my eyes.
That was a lot easier than trying to explain why I was jealous of my best friend finally getting the proposal she most definitely deserved. It was a lot easier than trying to figure out why I wanted something I’d avoided for so many years. Why I was all of a sudden looking at wedding dresses on Pinterest when there wasn’t even a guy worth a second date in my life right now.
“No, you’re not, but I ain’t gon’ force you to talk about it if you don’t want to.”
Again, Kai got a genuine smile out of me as I nodded my head.
“You swear you know me so well,” slipped through my smile, causing him to share one of his own, but it didn’t last long.
He nodded himself as he ground his teeth and looked me over intently. “You wanna get out of here? I got a blunt in the car.”
“That’s cool. Let me say goodbye to Frankie first.”
“Cool.”
I watched as Kai made his way out of the ballroom, nodding and throwing up the peace sign to a few people. Hugging a few others. By the time he made it to the front door, the song had changed and switched to something more upbeat. Turning, I looked around the floor to see where Frankie and Sanchez had gone. They were on their way to the bar, hand in hand. Smiling from ear to ear.
Unable to stop myself, I rolled my eyes and groaned as I walked over to them. I definitely needed to get my shit together because this was so not like me. Shaking thoughts of what I lacked and feelings of what I wanted away from me, I hugged Frankie from the side as I told her, “I’m about to head out, baby. Congratulations again.”
Frankie turned and gave me a full hug, making me feel even worse than I already did for feeling what I was feeling. “Okay. Thank you. I’m going to his house tonight, but I’ll be home tomorrow. You’re going to help me get everything together right?”
“Absolutely,” I replied honestly before kissing her cheek. My attention turned to Sanchez as I released her. “Take care of my sister, Chez. You fuck up this time…”
“I won’t. I give you my word.”
Sanchez pulled me into his arms, giving me one of those hugs that always made sure Frankie felt safe and secure. Afterwards, I said my goodbyes to the people I knew and headed out of the ballroom. When I made it outside, I was surprised to see Dray standing directly across from Kai. He appeared to be trying to enter the party, but Kai’s hand was up as if in protest.
Dray was, in a sense, the one that got away. He was the only guy I’d ever truly cared about on a romantic level. If I could go back, I would have put more effort into our relationship. At the time, The Wanderers was my main priority. All I had to offer Dray was sex and the occasional date here and there.
In the beginning, he was cool with that, but eventually he started catching feelings. Only thing was, it took him leaving for me to come to grips with mine, and by that time, it was too late.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, gaining both his and Kai’s attention.
His eyes smiled before his mouth did, but when it did, I mirrored it. Dray was still just as handsome… in a pretty boy kind of way. He was the total and complete opposite of Kai and every other guy in and associated with the band. A part of me felt like that’s what attracted me to him, but that was also why I felt no surge to remain connected to him.
There was nothing about him that soaked my panties. That made me all hot and bothered. That made me want to surrender and say yes.
“I was hoping to end the year right. With you. Can we talk?”
For some reason, my eyes went to Kai for permission. I guess because Kai was the one that always had to hear about my failed attempts at this thing called life and love. He was the one I went to when Dray left me, so it only seemed fair that he be the one I talk to now that he’d returned.
Kai’s head shook as he walked over to me. Completely blocking my view of Dray, Kai looked down at me and sighed. He ran his hand down his face as his head shook again.
“This nigga tryna get some pussy, Roux. Don’t fall for it.”
Rolling my eyes, I tried to push Kai away from me, but my hand was no match for his rock hard eight pack. His hand wrapped around my wrist and he used it to keep me in place. The last thing I felt like hearing was a lecture on why I shouldn’t hear Dray out. For all I knew, he could be my temporary fix. A fix that would get me through the night and this random desire for something I’d promised my heart I would steer away from.
Dray was safe.
There was no way I’d end my night wanting anything more than conversation and sex from him, and I had to remind my heart and my mind that that’s all we had time for these days.
“Don’t start, Kai. I’m not trying to hear all that tonight.”
“All of what? The truth?” Kai paused, loosening his grip on my wrist. Still wasn’t loose enough for me to pull away though. “You haven’t heard from him in how long, Roux? You don’t think it’s ironic that he shows up after you post pictures of yourself in lingerie?”
Well, maybe, but I was trying to give Dray the benefit of the doubt. I’d become a brand ambassador for this new and upcoming black owned lingerie company, and they started their Valentine’s day promo on Christmas. My spread went live on their website and social media this afternoon, and admittedly, my inboxes and email were booming like crazy ever since.
But Dray wasn’t on that type of creep shit.
Or at least he hadn’t been.
I wouldn’t know until I actually heard him out.
“I’m good, Kai. You said you want me to celebrate, right?” Kai released his grip on my wrist, but he didn’t do so happily. “I can take care of myself, best friend. I know what I’m getting myself into.”
Kai took a step away from me as he pulled his keys out of his pocket. “That’s not the point, but you got it, Roux.”
“Wha– wait.” Kai hadn’t even given me time to get my question out before he was walking away to his car. I excused myself from Dray to follow behind Kai as quickly as my heels would allow me to. “What is your problem, Kai? What’s the point?”
Kai remained silent until he got to his car. He kept his back to me as he mumbled, “We always spend the holidays together. Always.”
Shit. I’d forgotten all about his thing with holidays. Every other day, he was the lovable, annoying asshole that I’d immediately clung to the day we met years ago. But on holidays… holidays made him soft. And vulnerable. And distant – seeking only to be close to those he was closest to. At the top of the list… me and The Wanderers.
Now I felt like shit.
“Let me just tell him we can talk later,” I offered, turning without waiting for Kai to agree.
“Nah. You good. I want you to be happy tonight. If hearing him out is going to do that, so be it. You deserve it.”
Kai opened the driver’s door and got inside as I turned to face him. His nonchalant expression told me loud and clear that he was done with this conversation, but that didn’t stop me from walking back over to him. Giving my calf muscles a good workout, I squatted, keeping my legs together since I had on a dress. We’d seen each other’s bodies before, but the wind was howling, and it was cold as hell outside.
Even the coldest of winds wouldn’t keep me from seeing to Kai, though.
I placed both of my hands on his knees, squeezing them gently until he looked at me.
“What about what you deserve?” Kai shrugged, lifting his right leg and placing it in the car. He pressed down on the break while simultaneously shoving his pointing finger against the start button. The engine of his Mustang began to purr, ending our conversation since he wasn’t going to. “Kai.”
“I’m good, baby doll.” He looked down at me briefly. “Happy New Year, Roux.”
I stood, not knowing what to say or do. Of course I wanted to be with my best friend, but I had needs that a blunt and a night of joking with Kai couldn’t fill. I wanted a man to look at me like he wanted me. Tell me I was beautiful. Touch me like he wanted to possess me. Even if it was just for one night. None of that could happen with Kai, and that was the reason I allowed him to push me away gently so he could close his car door.
After waiting until after Kai was out of the parking lot, I met back up with Dray, hoping whatever he had to say would be well worth the disappointed look on Kai’s face.
—
If you would like to purchase a copy, it’s now available on my website!
Until next time,
Love B.
Hey!
Tomorrow, the finale for The Bad Boy I Love goes live!
Synopsis
For Misery, things just keep getting worse. No matter how much money he makes and success he sees, he consistently finds himself surrounded by darkness. Thankfully, Isla enters his life and becomes the light he needs to make his way through. As things get better for him, Isla’s life gets shaken in the most unexpected way.
Chaos has only one goal – to be a better father than his father. Though Carmen isn’t his first pick for the mother of his child, he’s devoted to doing all he can to make sure his baby has the family he never did. When Carmen becomes his main priority, business and personal relationships suffer – including the one he’s trying to build with Fiona.
What happens when the most lethal man in the streets is cornered by the woman he hurt? Gunner finds himself staring down the barrel of a gun. His gun. Being held by the person he least expected to ever come for him. In seconds, everyone in the room becomes victim to April’s need to avenge her shattered heart. Will Gunner be able to make his way out alive, or will he become the first man on April’s payback list?
Misery, Chaos, and Gunner all get a taste of the rewards and risks of loving a good woman. There is one goal in this riveting two-part series, all three men must ask themselves… can a bad boy truly love a good woman the way she needs to be loved?
Sneak peek - Explicit and Unedited
Misery
Man, a nigga was happy as fuck when I got that call. Hava’s birthday was today, so she asked me if I wanted to have my son. I hadn’t seen Skylar in person in about six months. We FaceTimed a lot but that was about it. It messed with me to know that Hava was only trying to use me as a babysitter so she could turn up for her birthday, but as always, I was willing to take what I could get.
She was trying to get me to only keep Skylar overnight. That wasn’t going to work. I told her I wanted to keep him for at least three days. Hava was hesitant, but eventually she agreed. We were supposed to meet so I could get him at noon, but it was two and she’d been ignoring my calls and text messages all day.
Trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, I went to her place to see if she’d been in a rush for work and had forgotten about our agreement, but her mother wasn’t at home and neither was my son. I decided to pull up on her at her job, but I wanted to give her one last chance to be on some act right, so I called her work line in an attempt to get something worked out. She answered almost immediately, and that shit only pissed me off more.
“You ain’t see me calling you, girl? Why the fuck you ignoring me, Hava?”
Hava released a heavy breath into the phone, and I could hear a seat creaking back.
“I don’t want you to take him for three days, Misery. Why can’t you just keep him for the night?”
“That wasn’t our agreement. I’m not settling for no night, Hava. Not when I haven’t seen him for months.”
“Exactly! I want to make sure he’s comfortable with you before…”
“How the fuck do you expect him to get comfortable with me in your mind when you keep letting so much time pass after I get him? You know how much I worry about my sons forgetting who I am? I’m trying to let FaceTime be enough but you trying my patience. That’s my blood, Hava. I’m not new to this shit. He’s going to be good.”
Hava paused, and I was hoping that meant she was seriously giving what I said some thought. “No. I’ll just get my sister to keep him tonight.”
“Ha–”
She hung up in my face, and I had to keep myself from punching the window after I tossed my phone onto the seat. I got out of my car, slamming the door behind me as I stalked over to the building. The more they tried me and kept my sons away from me the less concern I had for my actions towards them. Since she wanted to be bad, we were going to see if she could deny me face to face.
“Welcome to Ead’s Minor Med–”
“Hava!” I yelled, unsure of where her office was. She was the bookkeeper for Ead’s Minor Medical Center, and that was because of me. Hava wanted me to give her money like I gave Latisha and Prentiss, but I refused to give her and Angel a dime above what I knew it would take to take care of my sons. I wasn’t about to pay for her to have her own apartment when she wasn’t even letting me see my son. Latisha and Prentiss worked my damn nerves, but I didn’t mind making sure they were straight financially because they were good with their money and they let me get my kids more than anyone else.
I was sure had I broke Hava off with a little more money every month she wouldn’t give me such a hard time, but until I started seeing my son, I was going to continue to purchase his necessities, even food, and take them to her mother’s job along with the five hundred dollar check I gave her every month. If he ever needed more, I had no problem writing her a check when she could prove the need.
That might sound like I’m being extra, but Hava was immature as hell. For months she’d been spending the money I gave her for Skylar on herself. Buying bags and plane tickets while her mother took care of him. That shit had to come to an immediate stop.
“Hava!” I called out again, making my way down the hall.
She stuck her head out of the door and slammed it shut, but I kicked it down with no problem.
“Get out, Misery!”
“Fuck that. Where is my son?”
Hava’s trembling fingers were tapping on her phone. She was trying to act like she wasn’t scared, but I heard the shakiness of her voice as she said, “He’s good. You need to leave.”
“Where is my son?”
Slamming her phone down on the desk, Hava plopped down in her seat.
“You can’t have him. I tried to let you have him overnight, but you didn’t want to act right. Really, I don’t even trust you to have him for a night. You might try to keep him forever.”
I didn’t mean to smile, but I needed that. As pissed as I was, I was ready to fuck some shit up over my seeds. I was sick of the back and forth with all of my baby mamas.
“It would serve you right if I didn’t, but I’m a man of my word. I just want to see my son, Hava.”
“I’ve called the police,” came from behind me.
Looking back at the frail, older white woman, I shook my head before returning my attention to Hava.
“Just leave, Misery. Maybe we can try this another day. Like I said, I’m going to get my sister to keep him tonight. I’ll FaceTime you so you can see him before I drop him off.”
Holding my stare for a few seconds, Hava looked away before running her hands down her face. Like I was the one stressing her out.
“Sir. I’ve called the police.”
The only reason I left was because I had an idea. Hava knew me well enough to know the threat of police never fazed me. Once I made it back to my car, I called one of my most solid corner boys and told him to come up to Hava’s job and let me know of her every move. If she didn’t want to give me my son, I’d take him.
—
Tehehehehehe I hope you’re ready for tomorrow!
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Synopsis
Misery, Chaos, and Gunner… three best friends who make up the most powerful, influential, and notorious cartel in Memphis. This trinity has not only the respect and fear of the streets, but they have the hustle and intelligence necessary to maneuver through their illegal dealings without much static from law enforcement. Making money comes easily for them, but having successful relationships with women? Now that’s a whole other story.
This story.
For Misery, having to deal with business, the streets, family issues, and bitter baby mamas makes it hard for him to want to give any woman the time of day. Isla comes in and temporarily has him rethinking his stance against commitment, but he isn’t the only man who has set his eyes on her. Gunner has too.
If Gunner is known for anything, it’s being wild and reckless. His current friend with benefits, April, is okay with accepting him flaws and all… as long as he doesn’t disrespect her by cheating publicly. When Isla gains Gunner’s attention, April is forced to punish him, and Gunner’s lethal reputation in the streets may prove to be no match for a woman scorned.
Chaos may wreak havoc in the drug world, but his heart turns to mush every time he’s in the same room as his best friend, Fiona. After leaving Memphis for close to ten years, Fiona returns, and the duo quickly learns that time definitely makes the heart grow fonder. There’s just one problem… well… woman… standing in the way of them taking things to the next level.
Isla, Fiona, and April, all get a taste of the pleasures and pain of loving a bad boy. There is one goal in this riveting two part series, all three women must ask themselves… can a bad boy truly love a good woman the way she needs to be loved?
Sneak Peek
Explicit and Unedited
Chaos
“Thought I told you to make me your first stop?”
Fiona’s head lowered, making it damn near impossible for me to take in her beauty. She started chewing on her thumb nail like it wasn’t already a nub. That was a habit Fiona refused to break. Biting her nails down until they almost started to bleed. Most times she had her nails covered with fake ones to hide the habit and what it stood for.
Every time I saw her do it, it tugged at a nigga’s heart. She didn’t start doing it until that night, and every time her nerves started getting bad that’s what she’d do to try and calm herself down. I didn’t understand why her nerves would be bad talking to me, but I wasn’t going to ask her about it either. We had the kind of connection that was built on genuineness and communication… trusting each other… so if she wasn’t saying what the problem was it was because she didn’t want me to know.
“That was my plan, but Isla saw my Snap and scooped me from the airport. I’ve been with her ever since. I’ll see you at the party tonight, Chaos. You’re just going to have to share me.”
Fiona stopped chewing on her nail and lowered her hand, smiling brightly. She’d gone to Atlanta and grew up on me. Apparently, she was fucking with niggas with money there, too, because the gap in her mouth from sucking her thumb for years was gone. Her teeth were perfectly straight and white now, giving her yet another reason to be the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen.
“Ion share shit. You know that.”
Her eyes shifted to the left, like she was looking at Isla. Isla was Fiona’s best friend from back in the day. I hadn’t kicked it with her ever since Fiona left town, but she was out here doing big things. They both were in different ways. Isla was making a name for herself in Memphis while Fiona was making moves as a kept woman. I didn’t like her depending on men the way she was, but I understood her reasoning behind it, so I let her be.
“I’ll see what I can do.” Her eyes returned to me. “What you about to get into?”
My eyes lifted to Carmen’s door as I pulled her key out of my pocket.
“‘Bout to tie up some loose ends. Just hit me up when you on your way to the party, ‘cause I know you gon’ be late.”
The sound of her low giggle filled my ears. Made a nigga almost crack a smile. It was most definitely time to get off this FaceTime. Fiona had always had that effect on me. The kind that had me talking soft to her and caring about her during times where I didn’t give a fuck about anyone else.
“I will, Christian. I’m so excited to see you.”
I couldn’t help but side eye her as I put my key in Carmen’s lock. She was the only person that could get away with calling me my government. My own mama didn’t try that shit. Fiona could call me whatever she wanted to, though, and my ass would answer and come running every time.
“Gone somewhere, Fiona.”
“Chaos!” Between her yelling and laughing, I couldn’t help but chuckle, but I covered it by running my hand over my mouth until I stopped. Her voice lowered as she pouted and requested, “Tell me you’re excited to see me too.”
Not giving her what she wanted right away, I stared at her, forcing her to hang onto the silence between us. Her eyes lowered as she licked her lips before biting down on the bottom one.
See.
Nah.
Doing that type of shit was going to get her little ass fucked up.
“What you doing, Fe?”
Her eyes widened, as if she hadn’t even realized what she’d done. “Just stop being mean and tell me. Why do you make shit so difficult, Christian?”
Returning my eyes to the door, I unlocked it as I confessed, “Because I like when you beg.”
“I don’t know why. You end up giving me what I want anyway.”
That was true. Would always be true.
“I’m excited to see you too, Fe.” At the sound of my words, Carmen looked up from her phone. She was sitting in the center of her couch, completely oblivious to what was about to happen between us. Her eyes rolled at the sound of my words and she shook her head, blowing out an irritated breath. “Hit me up when you’re on your way to the party though.”
“Okay. I love you.”
Carmen’s eyes lifted to mine again, daring me to say that shit back. We’d been back and forth for two years now, and not once had she ever heard those words from me. I had love for her, but I didn’t love her. Not like how I loved Fiona.
“Aight, baby. I love you too.” Carmen grumbled under her breath as she crossed her arms over her chest and sat back in her seat. “The fuck you doing all that for? You know I can’t be talking to nobody but Fiona,” I reminded as I disconnected the call. Not that it would matter anymore. Not after this conversation.
“So what? You don’t think there’s anything wrong with you calling her baby and telling her you love her when I’m the one you’ve been in a relationship with for the past two years, Chaos? That’s normal to you?”
I started to go and sit next to her, but I decided to stay by the door instead. This shouldn’t take long, and if she tried to swing on me I didn’t want to have to restrain her like I had to in the past.
“Yea, it’s normal. You knew about my bond with Fiona from the jump. What you trippin’ for now?”
Carmen’s eyes rolled as her bottom lip poked out. She stood and turned to leave but she paused.
“So you’re saying she means more to you than me?”
It wasn’t easy to get a smile or laugh out of me, unless you were Fiona, but that made me laugh before I could stop it.
“Did you really just ask me that bullshit?”
My head went from being tilted to the side to straightforward as I yanked at the bottom of my left ear gently. It was a habit I started doing when I first started losing my hearing in it. Back then, it would pop my ear and allow me to hear better. With me being 75 percent death in my left ear now, it wasn’t that easy. It was more of a habit now. Something I did when I couldn’t believe what a person was saying more so than when I couldn’t hear them. Everything came through as a muffle for the most part through that ear, which is why I relied mostly on reading lips and hearing through my right ear.
“Of course she means more to me than you. Fiona means more to me than I do. Fuck has gotten into you?”
Carmen’s head lowered as she left the living room. A part of me wanted to just yell out that I didn’t want to be with her anymore, but I decided to practice patience and wait for her to return. It wasn’t like things were bad between us, but after two years, things weren’t good. There was no love between us, at least not on my part. I didn’t want to marry her and spend the rest of my life with her. We ain’t have no kids.
With my lifestyle, I needed someone by my side that I felt could ride with me through it all, and Carmen was too selfish and shaky for that role. For a good little minute, I tried to hide it because she let me do whatever I wanted to do and didn’t question me about it, but even that wasn’t enough to satisfy me anymore.
When she came back, she had something folded in the palm of her hand. I ignored it as I told her, “Ion think this gon’ work anymore. I wanna split.”
Carmen’s shoulders hunched as her head shook. She chuckled and opened the piece of paper that was in her palm…
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Tomorrow, Zion and Kailor make their literary debut in “The Love We Seek.” Here’s one final look into their story before it goes live!
Zion
Unedited
“Can I ask you three questions?”
That wasn’t bad. I couldn’t handle that.
“You never have to ask.”
She covered her face briefly as she smiled.
“Okay. Question number one.” She cleared her throat. “How was your relationship with your mother before she left?”
Just the thought of her had me smiling.
“My mother was my heart. She was my everything. I wouldn’t say she was my best friend like your mother was to you, but she was my everything. All I needed. I’d die if it meant having her here one last time.” My head shook as I looked away from her. “I wouldn’t even need any more time on this earth if I could have her back just one more day.”
Kailor rubbed her eye, trying to keep her tears in. When her eyes were dry she asked, “What do you have to offer me?”
I thought over her question carefully. More than anything, my concern was what she needed that I could satisfy.
“My time. Affection. Attention. Ears. Heart. Words. Friendship. Support. Chest. Arms. All of me that you’d like to have.” In no rush to ask the third question, Kailor stared at me intensely. “You said there were three questions?”
Her head nodded rapidly as she pulled her eyes away from me.
“If, not saying I’ll ever be, but, if I was your woman, what would you expect from me.”
Kailor continued to look away, as if she couldn’t face me while I answered.
“Love.” That got her attention. “Respect. Support. Appreciation. Influence. More than anything, though, support.”
With a nod, Kailor stood. She ran her hands down her leggings as she slowly walked over to me. I had no idea what she was about to do, but the second her finger slid down my scar my eyes closed. Her face was close enough for us to be in the same breathing space. For me to feel her breathing against my nose, but I wasn’t expecting her to connect her lips with mine. Trembling fingers slid down my cheek to my lips.
“What you doing?” I asked, already knowing the answer. Maybe that’s why she remained silent.
Her fingers were replaced with her lips, teasing mine with a gentle kiss. I couldn’t kiss her back right away. All I could do was lose myself in this moment. In the soft, fullness of her lips. That changed when she pressed her lips more firmly into mine.
With no hesitation, I lifted her feet into the air by her arms and placed her on my lap. Taking control of the kiss, I cradled her neck in my hands to make sure she didn’t try to run away. There was no chance of her trying to run away. Not with the passion in which she kissed me. The sharp need of it aroused me more than anything or anyone else ever had.
Kailor pulled away long enough to whimper and bring her body even closer to mine, but when she returned to my lips she continued her slow, sensual assault. I slid my tongue into her mouth, tasting her deeply as she shivered against me before she pulled away. Her hand went to her mouth as her eyes widened in surprise.
She jumped from my lap, but I grabbed her hand and kept her from going inside.
“Don’t do that again. Not until you’re ready for all of me.”
I released her, and she wasted no time snatching her list and dashing into the house.
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Synopsis
“People die or leave when you need them most. Nothing is ever certain. Nothing is ever sure.” – Kailor Smith
When Kailor Smith’s mother dies, her life crumbles. Completely. Still looking out for her in death, Asia sends Kailor on a journey of self-discovery. The journey, meant to be a six-month path of fun and finding purpose, leads Kailor to Finley Trails where she temporarily lives with her brother Kai… and his best friend and bandmate Zion Johnson.
Zion Johnson is convinced that he has only two things to offer the world – his music and his manhood. Nothing more, like love, but definitely nothing less. After losing his parents at a young age, he’s convinced it’s his job to protect every damsel that comes his way. Even his best friend’s sister. No matter how much his best friend wants him to stay away.
As Kailor and Zion’s paths collide, they find themselves on a journey of healing and love together. There’s just one problem; their union is forbidden. Not only could their relationship destroy Zion and Kai’s friendship, but it also has the potential to ruin their band and all of the success they’ve built. The odds are stacked against them, and for a while they are even at war with their own feelings, but Kailor and Zion must choose between love or the numbing pain they have both accepted as their truths.
Sneak peek
*Unedited*
Kailor
“Zion,” she called, grabbing at my shirt. “You’re so huge. You’re all I see every time I walk into a room. And you’re beautiful, but in a manly way. You’re the most beautifulist man I’ve ever seen in my whole entire life.”
“Beautifulist?” I repeated, trying not to feel a way. It was kind of hard to do with someone as sweet and beautiful and magnetic paying me a compliment. “We making up words now?”
Kailor lifted herself from me and looked up at me. Her arm lifted, and she was so off balance that she swayed to the left. I wrapped my arm around her to steady her, and when I did, she ran her pointing finger along my scar.
“I think everything about you is beautiful.” Her head tilted as she stared at my scar. “Who did this to you?”
I couldn’t answer her. Couldn’t blink. Really couldn’t do anything. Not while she was touching me. Looking at me so intently. Admiring the thing, the memory, that I hated the most.
“Spot,” came from behind me, and at the sound of it Kailor looked around me. “I been looking for you.” Spot? Why did he keep calling her that? “Are you drunk?” Kai asked, walking over to us.
“I’m not drunk,” was what she said, but the overlapping of her words said otherwise. “I just had to do the number two.” Kailor burst into a fit of giggles as she held onto me for balance. “Not the booboo number two but the number two on my list.”
“I thought I told you not to try that shit until I could make sure you were straight?”
Out of instinct, I pulled Kailor behind me when he walked over to us.
“She’s good. I told you I had her.”
“And I told you I didn’t need you to.”
“Look…”
Kailor slipped out of my grasp and started walking in the opposite direction. As usual, she wasn’t watching where the hell she was going and bumped into a woman that was heading towards the house. Before she could fall, I grabbed her and lifted her into my arms.
“Really don’t want you to be still because it will hit you worse, but you need to sit down somewhere, sweetheart.”
Kailor smiled as she wrapped her arms around my neck. She rested her head on me, humming and going into her own little world.
“Spot, I’m about to get this girl’s number then I’ll take you home, okay?” Kai told her, to which she nodded.
“Why do you call her that shit?”
Kai released an aggravated sigh. “Her mama gave her that nickname because of her birthmark. That’s what everyone calls her.”
He turned, but stopped when I offered, “I’ll take her home.”
“You’ve done enough.”
“I have to throw up,” Kailor interjected.
At the sound of that, I lowered her from my arms so that I could put her back to my chest. With my arms wrapped around her pelvis, I carried her to the curb, putting her on her feet just in time. Holding her hair back, I looked back at Kai as he cursed and mumbled under his breath. I didn’t see why he was so damn irritated. This was what she needed. Obviously her mother wanted her to gain some life experiences, but she for damn sure was going to have to be away from him to do so.
While she released all of the liquor and food she’d just consumed, I rubbed her back and continued to hold on to her hair.
“You’re okay,” I assured her. “This is the hardest part, but you’ll go to sleep right after.”
She nodded before her mouth filled up again. When she was done, Kai made his way over to us.
“You made this mess, you clean it up, and don’t violate or disrespect my sister in any way while you do.”
The slick shit that fell out his mouth irritated me above all, but I knew he was only being this way because she was his sister, so I tried to let it ride.
“You know I wouldn’t do anything like that. I get that you want to protect her, but you will not disrespect me in the process.”
“Just take my sister home and make sure she’s okay. I’ll be down there as soon as I get this girls number.”
“Take your time,” I granted, lifting Kailor off her feet and placing her into my arms.
“I don’t like throwing up,” she whispered, holding me tightly. “Please, Lord, don’t let me have to throw up again.”
I couldn’t help but chuckle as I carried her down the street. She was the heaviest weightless thing I’d ever carried. Heavy because I could sense the grief that weighed her down. I knew that pain all too well. Weightless because if she’d let me, I was determined to carry all of her burdens, just as effortlessly as I was carrying her now.
Wish I could give a reason for it, but I couldn’t. All I could say was that I was drawn to her like a moth to a flame, and if destruction came from our connection… so be it. We made it to the house, and I carried her up the stairs carefully. They cracked at any given time, and the last thing I wanted to do was have one to collapse while I was carrying her. I’d already decided that I was going to give her my room so she wouldn’t have to deal with going up them, and this further convinced me that I needed to.
When I made it to her room, I sat her on the edge of the bed as I asked, “Are you comfortable enough in those clothes to sleep in them or do you need to take them off?”
She didn’t answer me vocally, just started taking off her clothes as exhaustion covered her face. I went through her bags that were on the floor until I found a pair of pajamas, then I handed them to her before I went downstairs to grab her a bottle of Gatorade and some Tylenol. After taking two of the Tylenol and drinking a third of the Gatorade, she laid down and was snoring quietly within seconds.
For a while, all I could was stand there and stare at her, but the sound of the front door slamming pulled me out of my trance. As Kai was coming up the stairs I was going down them. I motioned with my hand for him to turn around. He waited until we were in the living room to ask, “She good?”
“Yea, she’s asleep.”
Kai released a sigh of relief as he ran his hand down his face.
“Listen, Zion, you’re my guy, and I appreciate you entertaining my baby sister, but respect my request and leave her alone.”
“She needs a friend…”
“I’ll be that.”
I laughed as I shook my head. “You can’t. You’re not even being her brother. You’re being an overbearing, controlling rule giver, and I’m sure that’s the last thing she needs right now. If you want me to step back I will but not until you step up and show me that I can trust her with you.”
Since that was all I had to say on the matter, I headed for the kitchen in search of something else to drink. I didn’t feel comfortable going back to the party just in case Kailor woke up, but I was pretty sure she would be out for the rest of the night.
“I don’t need you to trust me with my sister, bruh. Who the hell do you think you are?”
I shrugged, really having no idea who I thought I was when it came to Kailor. Whoever I was to her, I felt like that’s what she needed me to be, and I wasn’t going to let Kai or anyone else rob her of that.
“Like I said, I’ll step back when you step up. She came here to escape. Give her the freedom to do so.”
Not wanting to admit that I was right, Kai stared at me for a few seconds before leaving. Unable to help myself, I went back upstairs after I’d fixed my drink and watched Kailor sleep until I went to sleep myself.
Get ready to read the rest of their story Wednesday, 9/12/18
Hey, you!
I have a new project on the way. Title and release date will be announced soon. If you haven't liked my Author page or joined my mailing list, I'd advise you to do either or both because I'll be sharing details there first! My goal is to have this baby out soon... like in one week soon... but let's link up so you can stay in the loop just to be on the safe side!
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Okay, now here's the sneak peek!
--
*Unedited and subject to change*
Kailor
People die or leave when you need them most. Nothing is ever certain. Nothing is ever sure. In my twenty-one years of living, I’d learned that to be true. My mother died exactly six months ago today, and I don’t think there was ever a time when I needed her more than I do right now. Well, I was actually in the predicament I was in because she was gone. If she would have been alive, I’m confident that my circumstances wouldn’t be the same.
I’m confident that I wouldn’t be leaning against the doorframe of our home, watching as moving men carelessly gathered up her most prized possessions and tossed them into the back of a truck. As if the things that meant everything to me meant absolutely nothing to them. I guess they didn’t mean anything to them but a paycheck. A paycheck that my stepfather, Aaron, was responsible for.
Cancer claimed my mother six months ago, and for some reason, my mother left everything to him. Okay, so I know the reason. It was because she thought he would lovingly and responsibly take care of me. Because she thought he would lovingly and responsibly comfort me during my time of need.
Ha.
Not so much.
Aaron had always had a problem with me and my mother’s relationship. He said she coddled me. Sheltered me too much. Hid me from the world and what I needed to be able to confidently maneuver my way through life without her. Doesn’t really surprise me that I come home after looking for a new job to find my home is no longer my home. Just… sucks that I had to find out by the door being almost beat down by the moving company per his orders.
“Excuse me, miss,” the youngest of the moving crew spoke. He’d been moving with the speed and strength of ten men all morning.
Deciding to finally accept what was happening, I went into my room to grab the last of my bags. I’d packed up all that I could fit into my car. Aaron had shut down and sold my mother’s restaurant a month ago, too. The restaurant I was the manager for. The restaurant that was my main source of income. Fuck it. I refused to let this bastard be proven right. There was no part of me that would keep me from being able to function like a normal adult without my mother.
After placing the last tote bag handle onto my shoulder, I looked around my room for what would be the last time. The movers had been gracious enough to save my room for last. Maybe because they felt a tinge of pity for me. Whatever the case, my time was up, and I had to say goodbye to the room I’d spent the last twenty-one years in. When I graduated high school, I promised my mother that nothing but marriage would pull me away from her and this room.
God had other plans.
He allowed death to rip her from my arms and a selfish, money hungry bastard to pull me from what had been my safe haven for all of my life.
Not wanting to get wrapped up in my feelings, I inhaled deeply and made my way out of my room, but my feet stopped at the sound of Aaron yelling my name. His voice was frantic, like he didn’t expect to be caught. Like he thought he could get away with selling the home I grew up in and I not find out. My grip on the handle of my tote tightened as I ground my teeth, trying my hardest not to let my emotions get the best of me.
Walking down the hall, I prepared to lay eyes on Aaron. In all honesty, I could see why my mother had become smitten over him. He was the complete opposite of my father. That alone was enough to make him perfect in her eyes. There was one major difference between Aaron and Michael, though. Michael never turned his back on his kids. Well, his first set at least. They were the reason he ended things with my mother.
“Kailor,” Aaron called at the sight of me. His face washed over with relief as he quickly made his way over to me. My steps were slow and unhurried, and even though I had absolutely no desire to talk to him or even see him, I did want to get this conversation over with. “I was hoping I’d get off work early enough to have time to talk to you.”
“Yea?” I gave him a slight nod as I looked straight through him to the opposite end of the hall. “And you thought the morning we were supposed to move was the right time to tell me that you sold my home? What gives you the right, Aaron?”
He chuckled quickly and shook his head – his telltale sign of frustration. I’d seen him do that one too many times with my mother before he’d yell and storm off. But I wasn’t my mother. He could get it if need be. There wasn’t enough love or respect in my heart for him to keep me from flipping the hell out if he so much as tried to raise his voice at me.
“Your mother gave me the right when she left it and the business to me.” My eyes rolled as I headed down the hall with Aaron on my heels following behind. “You need to gain some independence, Kailor, and this is the only way I know how to make you.”
“By forcing me out of my home?” I snapped, turning on those same heels and getting into his personal space. Before I could stop it, my finger was in his face as I gritted, “That wasn’t the way to do it. I’m running low on money because I haven’t gotten another job yet, and now I have no clue where the hell I’m about to sleep tonight. I’m homeless thanks to you.”
Not giving him the benefit of seeing me cry over my jacked up situation, I turned when I felt the tears start to well up in the corners of my eyes. I inhaled deeply through my flaring nostrils as I hastily walked down the hall. The walls were closing in on me, and I needed relief. Desperately.
“I’m sorry, Kailor. I know this may seem cold of me, but it’s tough love, Spot. Your mother spoiled you, and you know I’ve always had a problem with that.”
“So what.” I barely recognized the low snarl of my voice. “You are not my father, Aaron, and it wasn’t your place to choose how my mother raised me. Just because we were close doesn’t mean…”
“Close?” The sound of his laughter had me turning to face him once I’d made it to the door. “No. That wasn’t close, Kailor. That was toxic.” He got so close to me his body touched mine as he lowered his mouth to my ear. His voice was just above a whisper as he said, “God must have felt the same way, otherwise she’d be here don’t you think?”
My eyes popped open as my heart stopped. Literally stopped. As soon as my body stiffened my heart began to work again, beating rapidly. I lifted my hand to slap him, but Aaron grabbed it and used it to press me into the wall. “She’s gone. Get over it. You’ll figure something out, Kailor. You’re a smart girl.”
He may have had my arm bound, but my knee was not. With all of my force, I knee’d him between the legs. He doubled over instantly. Since my arm was free, I slapped him like I’d been wanting to do every time he yelled at my mother. Every time he made her cry. Every time he had her questioning why she wasn’t enough.
“You never loved her. Not like she deserved.” I stood over him, wanting to make sure he heard me over his wailing. He rocked back and forth, cupping his throbbing manhood. “So I know there’s no way you ever cared about me. You wanted to cash in, I get it, but don’t think karma won’t bite you in the ass, and don’t think I won’t make it out of this.”
Resisting the urge to kick him in the stomach, I grabbed the bag that had slid from my shoulder when he pressed me into the wall and left the house. As soon as the blazing sun connected with my skin I felt even more drained of my energy. He chose what had to have been the hottest day of June to pull a stunt like this. The air hadn’t been working in my car all summer. It hadn’t been much of an issue because I rarely drove anywhere besides to work until the sun went down. Now, I had to find a place to clear my mind and come up with a masterplan.
As I walked, I looked up at the cloudless sky for as long as I could without my sunglasses. The sun was bright, the complete opposite of the darkness rising up within me. There were three men leaning against the moving truck, sweat seeping through their clothes. My gaze turned to my home one last time, and the lack of my mother was evident.
Plants were wilting in their pots. The grass had died out, having no need to be cut. Droopy’s black water bowl at the door was now white on the inside and had become useless. He was the neighbor’s dog, and after mama died he stopped coming around. I couldn’t even blame him. My heart had stopped coming around too.
I scratched my scalp as I blinked back tears. We weren’t toxic. She was my best friend. And my mother. My whole heart. My everything. And now I had nothing without her. Releasing a heavy sigh, I headed towards my car. No destination in mind, but anywhere would have been better than here. Maybe Aaron had done me a favor. Maybe holding on to this house and our memories was torturing me in a way that I hadn’t even realized.
If tortured memories were the only way to remember my mother…
“Will we be in your way, ma’am?”
My eyes lifted to the oldest man of the crew. The one who hadn’t lifted a finger. Just delegated duties. I shook my head, trying to give him an easy smile, but it was so damn hard.
After putting the bags in the back seat, I got into my car just as Aaron was coming outside, still holding himself as he mugged me. Now that made me smile. I lifted my hand to flick him off, and that only made him madder. Once I was inside of my car, I said a quick prayer for guidance.
Sure, I had a few friends and family members that would have welcomed me in, but I didn’t want anyone to know about this. Call it pride, but I would rather wander until I land than accept anyone’s handouts. Aaron may have thought my mother spoiled me, but she did the opposite, actually. She taught me to not have to depend on anyone for my necessities – except for her.
Admittedly, I didn’t look back as soon as I put the car in reverse, but the sound of tires screeching had my head lifting to see who was pulling up behind me. The sight of India’s car made me smile. She was my mother’s best friend and my Godmother. She threw her car into park and hopped out of it, jogging over to mine. My window was already down, on account of my air not working, so India leaned inside as she asked, “Where do you think you’re going?” I shrugged, honestly having no idea. “Why didn’t you call me, KK?”
I shrugged again, even though I knew the answer to that one.
“I don’t want to be a burden on anyone, India. I’ll figure something out. How did you even… you mean he told you before he told me?”
India rolled her eyes, twisting her mouth to the side. “Follow me to my house. I have something for you.” My head shook, but before I could decline she clarified, “It’s not a handout, proud Mary. Just follow me.”
I know, I know, you've been waiting for quite a while! Next week, the crew returns for the finale of "No Love in his Heart"
Check out the sneak peek below!
Synopsis
In the preface of “No Love in his Heart” seeds of love bloomed. In part one, those seeds became flowers that were nurtured. In part two, those flowers… may wilt.
For Messiah and Blue, it seems as if they can never catch a break. When Messiah finally decides to permanently and legally tie his life to Blue, his life is put on the line. Will he be found and saved, or will the future he had in store for Blue die right along with him?
For Indie and Kiylee, the past has a way of constantly resurfacing in their present, threatening their future. A lack of communication between these two leads Kiylee into the arms of another man. Will she come to her senses in time, or will Indie end their relationship before it can truly begin?
For Alante and Tamara, their ten-year toxic marriage has turned them both into people they don’t even recognize. When Tamara asks for a divorce, Alante agrees, surprising everyone that knows him. Attorney Rockmore has made it his mission to help Tamara with her divorce proceedings, and her heart if she will allow him. There’s just one problem – Alante’s medication turns him into the man Tamara has always wanted him to be. Will she continue on with the divorce, or give love with her husband a second chance?
Sneak peek
Blue
Blue didn’t realize she had zoned out again until the car behind her honked. Snapping out of her trance, Blue looked up at the now green light and pressed down on the gas. For the past eight hours, she hopped on and off the expressway in search of Messiah and the black SUV. Stopping only for gas, Blue’s stomach had become just as empty and hollow as her heart, but she had absolutely no desire to stop to grab something to eat before heading back to the safe house.
Right now, eating would have to wait. She desired the substance of Messiah more, and Blue didn’t see herself stopping until her body shut down or she found him. Whichever came quicker. Needing more resources to find Messiah, Blue decided to go home and shower before meeting Crip, but the sight of Dyer and Indie leaning against Indie’s car outside of the safe house had Blue wanting to keep driving and figure this out herself.
Just as she was about to speed off, Indie pushed himself off the car and extended his arm, holding an envelope in his hand that gained Blue’s attention. Her eyes went from the envelope to a visibly upset Dyer, and she couldn’t help but smile. It was fucked up of her to leave him stranded at the gas station, but he shouldn’t have made her choose between listening to him and going after Messiah.
Unwillingly, Blue turned into the driveway and pulled up on the side of Indie’s car. Before Indie could speak, Dyer was opening Blue’s door as he asked, “Really, Ms. Blue? That’s how we doing it now? As much loyalty as I give you and Messiah that’s how you do me? My gun, phone, and wallet were in the truck. You left me stranded with nothing, man. That wasn’t cool.”
Blue scratched the inside of her nostril, mind returning to thoughts of Messiah and how he’d scratch the side of his nose when he was getting irritated and wanted to remain calm. She jumped down from the truck gently, completely ignoring Dyer’s stare.
“If the choice is Messiah or you… expect absolutely no loyalty from me, Dyer.” Blue faced him finally, offering her hand in apology. “You cool, but it’s Messiah over everybody with me.” She shrugged as Dyer placed his hand inside of hers. “I’m sorry for leaving you stranded, but I had no other choice. Messiah needed me, and he still does, so this conversation is over.”
Stepping to the side of him, Blue connected her eyes with Indie’s. “If that’s not something that’s going to help me find Messiah, both of you can leave.”
Indie stepped in front of her, invading her space. Normally she would have stepped back, but there was something about his closeness that comforted her. Something about him that covered her with a peace she hadn’t felt ever since she saw Messiah’s white shirt turn crimson. Was this the strength, peace, and comfort Indie enveloped Kiylee with on a daily basis? If it was, Blue could understand why being with him had Kiylee changing herself.
Indie’s hand went to Blue’s cheek, and as soon as it did her shoulders slumped. Chest caved. Eyes closed. Heart damn near stopped working. The palpitating it had been doing for hours slowed down drastically with no warning at all. She hadn’t cried not one tear as she searched for him, and that was probably because Blue refused to accept the possibility of Messiah being gone.
Permanently.
If she thought about that…
“I’ve been calling you for hours, Blue. You need to come with me.”
Blue’s head shook as she pushed Indie’s hand down from her face. She tried to turn away from him to head to the house, but Indie grabbed her arm as she said, “I have to find Messiah. There’s no time for tal–”
“I know where he is.” Blue turned to face him, clutching her now rapidly beating heart. “We cannot talk here, Blue. Come with me.”
With a nod, Blue used her shaking hand to push her frazzled hair out of her face. Indie’s arm wrapped around her waist as he led her the few steps that it took to get to the passenger’s side of his car. The longer she leaned against his body the weaker she felt. Emotionally and physically. Second by second, the adrenaline of finding Messiah was starting to wear off, and by the time Indie opened the door, Blue found herself melting into the seat needing its firmness to hold her up and give her relief.
It wasn’t until Indie was pulling out of the driveway that Blue realized he hadn’t said if Messiah was alive or not. Unable to face him, Blue watched as Dyer got into the truck and prepared to leave as she asked, “Is he alive?” She swallowed the lump that was forming in her throat as her eyes watered and closed, but she popped them open immediately as flashes of Messiah being hit over and over and over again filled her mind. “Indie…”
Are you ready for the crew???
