Hey, y’all! A Gangsta’s Paradise drops Friday! It’s available for preorder here. In honor of today being sample Sunday, I wanted to share something with you :) Hope you enjoy!
Rosalyn
When we were done eating, we headed upstairs for the second part of his surprise. I was expecting more flowers and shit, so when I entered his room behind him and saw the fort that he’d set up I giggled in surprise all over again.
“Ishmael?” I called softly, cheesing hard as hell. Stepping in front of him, my head shook in disbelief. My eyes were wide and glossy as I stood there. Frozen.
“Yea, love?”
“What’s this?”
“A fort. I figured we could have dessert in there. Some wine. See where the night takes us.”
Turning, I took all that was Ishmael SwaeLee in. His tall, muscular, tattooed build. Walnut brown skin. Thick, short, beard. Square face, chiseled jaw. Skin colored lips. I loved his lips. His lips made me want to kiss. The top one was medium sized and the bottom one was plump and juicy as fuck. I loved his tight, balsamic colored eyes too.
God.
I simply loved everything about this man.
My head lowered, and I buried my face in the center of his chest. “You remembered,” I muttered, willing myself not to foster tears in my eyes. Opening my mouth slightly, I inhaled a deep, shaky breath. During the first year of our companionship, I shared with Ishmael how different my childhood was after he’d done the same.
I told him that I’d never really had the typical childhood. No normal things like sleepovers, birthday parties with friends, camping adventures and forts. Even as a child, I had to be aware of the harsh realities of life and grow up quick. It didn’t help that my body developed really fast. By fourteen, the few friendships I did have ended because their mothers didn’t want me around them.
Like being with me would somehow make their titties and hips sprout or give them a fat ass. Like my body came from fucking at fourteen and their daughters would do the same thing. At a young age, I got used to being alone. I didn’t have any siblings, just my mother and whatever freak of the week she was dealing with at the time. When I was ten, she left her pimp, and we moved into our own place. I can honestly say that was when we grew closest and she truly became my best friend.
Ishmael lifted my chin with his pointer finger and stared into my eyes with passion. With conviction. With… that thing that I just… wasn’t… couldn’t… had no recollection of.
“I remember everything you’ve ever shared wit’ me.” He put my hand in the center of his chest, on his heart. “All that shit in here.”
My cheeks lifted as I smiled and looked back at the fort. Ishmael was never the type to say much. He was calm – a man of few words – but the words he spoke held power. That calmness was never to be mistaken as weakness though. If you knew Ishmael, you knew he was suave but also a savage. A gentle gangster. My hands went to his neck, just to slide down his chest.
“Ish,” I almost whispered, unfamiliar with the softness of my own voice.
“Look at me.” I gave him my eyes with no hesitation. “Give me what I’m due.”
That only made me smile again because I knew he was dead fucking serious. “I love this. This entire night has been amazing. No one has ever done anything like this for me before. Thank you.”
With a nod, Ishmael smirked with the right side of his mouth. Running his fingers along the edges of it, he looked my frame over intently before telling me to, “Get ya sexy ass in the fort, Rosalyn.”
And I did – happily.
Ishmael left the room briefly. When he met me in the fort, it was with chocolate covered strawberries and wine. As if just having this wasn’t enough, he fed me the strawberries and I did the same to him. There was no more denying it – this man was giving me intimacy – lovingly. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, I liked it.
No.
I loved it.
Jesus.
Ishmael was the only man capable of making me see him as anything other than a client providing a check.
“Paradise?”
My heart dropped. Ishmael only called me by my escort name when shit was about to get real. For whatever reason, I think that was his way of reminding me of the power and control he had over our situation.
“Yes?”
Ishmael sighed as he put the half-eaten tray of chocolate covered strawberries down. He took my hand into his. “I don’t want this thang we got to be professional anymore. I want it to be personal. Real. I want you to be my paradise.”
“Ishmael…”
“I like your ass in a real way, Rosalyn. You know I’m cool with spending stacks on ya, but I’m tryna spend time wit’ ya that don’t require me bookin’ you through an app.”
My eyes blinked rapidly as I swallowed. Chuckling nervously, I lifted my wine glass and gulped all that was left down.
“Ish…” Licking the corner of my mouth, I shook my head slightly. “I can’t, handsome. We’ve already established that this is a job for me. Plus, I’m damaged goods. No one to fall for…”
“It’s too late for that,” he gritted, calmness beginning to fade. “I got feelings for you, and they ain’t gon’ go away just because you sayin’ they should.”
All I could do was shake my head. If it was anyone else, I would have said no flat out with no second thought, argument, or hesitation. But it was something about Ishmael. Something that made me reconsider everything I thought was normal, right, and real.
“I can’t. I’m sorry.”
Ishmael scratched the bridge of his nose before crawling out of the fort and my heart sank. The last thing I’d ever want to do was hurt him. And even that was odd. Normally my first thought would be hurting my wallets by losing a loyal client. But in this case, I didn’t give a damn about the money.
All I cared about was his heart.
I heard him mumbling about how he was trying to treat me like a lady and not a hoe just because of how I made my money and how he had given me way too much access to his heart over the past three years. That he’s been wasting his time trying to introduce me to a life and love that I clearly didn’t want.
Getting out of the fort, I didn’t know what the hell to say. A part of me was okay with admitting that what he’d said was true. I wouldn’t have felt the need to defend myself if I didn’t care. But I did care. And I was too weak to admit why. Not right now at least, and most definitely not to him.
“Ishmael…”
“Save it, Paradise. I’m only good to you for a fuck and a buck, right?” He nodded as he sucked his teeth. With a clenched jaw, he looked my frame over again, nothing like the way he’d done moments earlier. “That’s clear now.”
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Get ready for a wild ride!