Lovers of B. Love… Here’s a look into A Memphis Gangsta’s Pain before it goes live tomorrow!
Chapter 1
Londen
Late July
In Memphis
Trauma was a motherfucker.
Healing felt like a scheme.
Megan had called Londen in tears. The last time he saw her, she was happy and full of life. She was in love and on a cloud. Now, she was in so much pain, it was paralyzing. Her therapist recommended she journal to express her feelings, which was supposed to lead the way for healing and growth… however, writing about the pain her heart sustained from the man she loved was almost too much to bear.
“I just don’t understand, Londen.” At the sound of Megan’s voice cracking, Londen squeezed his eyes shut. “How is this healing me? How is this helping me? It hurts… so… fucking bad.”
Releasing a shaky breath, Londen opened his eyes as his jaw clenched. There were a lot of things Londen could protect his sister from, but unfortunately, heartbreak wasn’t on that list. It didn’t matter the reputation he had in the South. With her being miles away, her man didn’t take Londen’s threats seriously. It also didn’t help that Londen had been behind bars for so long. Dex didn’t believe Londen could send anyone to handle his lightweight, but now, Londen was out and free to handle Dex or anyone else how he pleased.
“I asked for your permission to come and handle that. I’m not going to take too many more phone calls with you crying before I pay Dex a visit, Megan.”
Megan sniffled. “I don’t want you to kill him, Londen.”
“Then what do you want me to do? Because every time you cry, it breaks my heart and makes me want to stop his.”
She sighed. “I want you to be a normal big brother and just… give me advice, not offer to kill him.”
With a huff, Londen sat back in his seat. His eyes looked toward the doors of the restaurant where he’d agreed to meet Felicia at. Apparently, she’d met with her lawyer and wanted to talk to Londen. His plan was to wait until he and Lei moved back to Memphis to file his lawsuit against the State and seek to have his rights returned for Landon, but the more he thought about Felicia’s betrayal, the more difficult it was for him to wait. Every day that passed was yet another day taken away from Londen to spend with his son, and it may have been selfish, but knowing he was being taken care of by Felicia’s husband didn’t satisfy Londen in any way.
“Okay.” Londen’s head bobbed as he considered her request. “You want my advice?”
“Yes,” Megan whined.
“Do you plan to marry Dex knowing he cheated on you?”
“I-I don’t know. He swears it was a one-off thing and it won’t happen again. He won’t even give me space to process this fully because he’s trying to fix things between us.”
Londen chuckled but it quickly turned into a scowl. His body heated and breathing grew heavier… louder.
With a sharp tone, he told her, “He’s not trying to fix things, Megan; he’s trying to manipulate you. He’s keeping you so distracted that you don’t have time to feel your hurt and remember the peace and happiness you had without him. He knows if he gives you space, you’re going to leave.” Licking his lips, Londen tilted his head as his nostrils flared. “My advice to you would be to remember the intention of your marriage. That’s supposed to be a safe, secure space for you… filled with peace. If you are not accepted and loved purely anywhere else by anyone else, you need to have that with your spouse. If you can honestly tell me you’re getting that from Dex, work it out. If not, take this as your way out and God’s way of keeping you from marrying him and making a horrible mistake.”
“Well… things have been a bit off between us since he proposed. He’s been saying little things here and there that make me feel a little insecure. Not necessarily insecure in the sense of comparison with other women but insecure like… not feeling safe and confident with him. He’s been complaining about me in ways that he never did before, and we stopped going out and having as much sex. Now I feel like it was because of her.”
“Yeah, it definitely was. He was fucking off and wanted to make sure he kept you on the side. If he messed up your confidence, he wouldn’t have to worry about you leaving if you found out he was cheating. A hit to the ego and belief that you aren’t that girl can easily make you stay with someone that’s cheated if you feel like they are a great catch. And worse, you set yourself up to feel as if you’re the reason for the cheating when you most certainly are not.”
“You’re right.” She paused and released a tired breath. “I think it hurts so much because I didn’t think Dex would ever do something like this to me. We’ve been planning this wedding and, ugh… now I have to call it off and explain why.”
“You don’t have to explain anything to anyone, and because you haven’t sent out invitations, you really don’t have to tell people the wedding is off. I can understand doing so to avoid having that conversation repeatedly when people ask about the planning, but you owe no one an explanation. Do what’s best for you and don’t worry about the optics.”
“I will. Thank you, Londen.”
“Always. If you decide to leave and he gives you a hard time about it…”
“You’ll be the first to know,” Megan interrupted to say with a soft laugh. Londen loved the strength in her voice and how she sounded more like herself. “I do appreciate you, brother. Maybe this is a sign I need to come back home.”
“Just let me know when you’re ready. I’ll take care of the move.”
“I will but I don’t know. If you and Lei are moving to Memphis, I don’t want to be there alone.”
“You won’t be, and we won’t be leaving for two years. Well, just under two years now. That’s more than enough time for you to come back home and reestablish yourself.”
“Or, I can move back to Memphis and already be there when you go.”
Londen chuckled. He couldn’t blame Megan for not wanting to live in the same town as their parents. Her relationship with them flourished when she took her independence and left the state.
“Whatever is best for you. I’ll be back and forth between Memphis and The Hills anyway. Besides, you have friends in both places, so it just depends on where you’ll be most comfortable.”
“True. Well, I’ll think about it and let you know. Are you in Memphis yet?”
“Yeah, we pulled into the parking lot a few minutes ago.”
“Okay. I’ll let you handle that. Keep me updated on my nephew and give my sister a hug for me when you get back home.”
“I will, sis. Love you.”
“Love you too.”
After disconnecting the call, Londen informed Keith that the meeting shouldn’t take long. He made his way across the parking lot to the front doors of The Capital Grille. Before he stepped inside, he shot Megan a text that said, Remember… the more a person apologizes the less it means. She could say this was the first time Dex cheated, but Londen knew it wasn’t. It was the third. And seeing as being faithful wasn’t a part of his amends, his apologies were worthless these days.
Last he checked, fidelity was important to Megan. This was the first time she’d ever stayed with a man that cheated. Londen didn’t know what had her staying with Dex, but if she didn’t leave willingly, he’d already made up his mind to force them to part ways unwillingly. She wouldn’t have to know he was responsible for it either, but Londen would give her a couple of days to decide she wanted to end the relationship before he ended it for her.
Pushing thoughts of Megan’s situation to the back of his mind, Londen headed inside the restaurant and let the hostess know who he was there to meet. Though he made it clear to Felicia their meeting wouldn’t last long, she insisted on meeting him there for lunch. As he was led through the dark red room, Londen made a note of all exits and scanned the faces of everyone in attendance.
“Get up and switch seats with me,” Londen said once he made his way to the round table Felicia was sitting at.
“Seriously?” she asked with a roll of her eyes.
“Yeah. You know I need to be able to see the doors. I’m not sure why you sat there anyway.”
“Maybe because it’s been over ten years and I didn’t think you still did this.”
Not bothering to respond, Londen waited for Felicia to stand. After taking her seat, Londen lifted her glass of water and set it closer to her.
“So what is this about?” Londen asked, getting comfortable in his seat.
“Would you like to order food first?”
“Not at all. I would have preferred to do this over the phone, but you insisted we meet face to face.”
Felicia released a shaky breath as she nodded. “Yes. I met with my attorney, and he told me that you’d already started the process of filing a lawsuit against the state.”
“That’s correct.”
“You included Da’Mir and I as well.” Londen nodded, and Felicia chuckled. “I thought you said you weren’t going to try to sue us?”
“I said I would consider it, but obviously, I changed my mind. You, in essence, stole my son and gave him to a nigga I don’t know anything about. That shit doesn’t sit well with me.”
Felicia chuckled. “You are being so ridiculous right now, Londen. Even if I had told you about Landon, you wouldn’t have been able to be in his life for the first nine years of it, so why are you being so dramatic?”
Londen grew more and more jaded with this conversation the more she spoke. His chin jutted as he massaged his now throbbing temples.
“What you’re not going to do is downplay the disgusting act of keeping my son from me.” As angry as Londen was, he maintained his power and kept calm. Londen had shown Felicia his anger and hurt once; he wouldn’t do it again. “And seeing as the State has already offered me one point five million to settle, clearly, I’m not being dramatic at all.”
“Regardless, I wanted to see if we can keep this out of court. I don’t want Landon to be traumatized by this.”
“He doesn’t have to be.”
“How do you think it’s going to affect him if we have to tell him that Da’Mir is not his father?”
“Quite frankly, Felicia, I don’t give a fuck.” Londen chuckled as his leg began to shake under the table. “How you decide to share that truth is up to you. I already said I’m going to make the transition as smooth as I possibly can, but he is going to find out I’m his father and there’s nothing you can do to change that.”
“That is so selfish of you, Londen. How about showing some appreciation for the fact that Da’Mir stepped up when you couldn’t and took care of Landon an—”
“I’m going to stop you right there,” Londen said, sitting up in his seat. “Had I known you were pregnant, nothing would have kept me from fighting that charge. I took it because there was nothing here for me—no wife or kids, and I was still able to make money. In fact, I gained more power while I was sat down. If you would have been honest with me, I would have done everything in my power to remain free. On the off chance I would have still gotten sat down, at least I would have known my son existed. You could’ve done your thing with Da’Mir and I wouldn’t have had a problem with him being in my son’s life as his stepfather, but you took him from me and gave him to someone else, and seeing as he knew full well what you were up to, you both are going to pay for that.”
Their eyes remained locked for seconds on end. Felicia’s mouth twisted to the side as her head shook.
“We’re obviously not going to agree on this, so let’s get to why I asked to meet.”
“Please,” Londen said, waving the waitress off when she came and tried to take his order.
“Is there a chance that you’ll consider settling? If you do, you’ll get compensated by the State and we can come to some kind of agreement.”
“What did you have in mind?”
“Da’Mir remains Landon’s father legally, but we can introduce you to Landon as a family friend. That way, you can be in his life without causing trauma or damage.”
His mouth went slack before he swallowed hard and pressed his lips together tightly. Londen’s head shook in disbelief. It felt like his body grew heavier with each word she spoke.
Londen chuckled quietly as he rubbed his palms together. He released a tired breath, unable to believe Felicia’s words. There was no doubt in his mind that she wasn’t trying to settle to avoid Landon being traumatized; she was trying to settle to avoid this situation going public.
“I’m not going to settle. We’re taking this to court, and the State is going to give me the eight million I asked for and they are also going to reverse revoking my parental rights.”
“Londen…”
“Landon will receive a new birth certificate that I will sign, and you’re going to give me the public apology, in court, that I deserve. After that, we’re going to discuss transitioning me into my son’s life with the proper mediation, but that’s what’s going to happen, Felicia.” Londen stood. “From here on out, do not contact me. You have my lawyer’s information. I have nothing else to say to you.”
“Landon will not want to have anything to do with you when he finds out how you’re trying to destroy our family.”
Before he could stop it, Londen’s fist slammed into the table as he lowered himself to her ear. She jumped and gripped the edges of her seat as her eyes closed.
“Hear me well, Felicia. The only thing stopping me from killing you because of your betrayal is the fact that I don’t want my son to have to deal with the loss of you and gaining me at the same time. Do not take my kindness in this matter for weakness because I’m still that nigga. Try me if you want to, and I’m going to destroy your family in a more permanent way.” His hand wrapped around her neck, and he tilted her head, forcing her to look into his eyes. “I dare you to bash me to my son and make this harder than it has to be. Lei will be a mother of two and I will show you what it feels like to have him taken away. Do you fucking understand me?”
Felicia nodded adamantly as her eyes watered, but at that point, Londen felt no remorse. He’d been trying to handle her with kindness and grace to avoid a toxic co-parenting relationship, but that was dead. Londen released her and didn’t bother to wait around for her response. He made his way outside and pulled out his phone to call Lei. It didn’t seem like he’d be able to vent to her because, apparently, something was going on. She knew he was meeting with Felicia, so for her to have called him repeatedly and texted him 911, that could only mean something bad had happened.
He called back as he opened the door of the town car. It rang for what felt like forever before Lei answered.