Hey, book bae!
Here’s a short soundbite of me rambling about Set Up for Love :) You’ll be able to tell by my voice how excited I am about this book, lol.
Here’s the preorder link. You can add it to your TBR list on Goodreads here. Don’t forget about the giveaway, too! For details, check out my previous blog post.
Hey, book bae!
Here are a few goodies for my next release - Set Up for Love - that releases 9.13.2020. It’s available for preorder now! Here’s the synopsis, a giveaway link, + more!
Zara and Cayden’s marriage is spiraling out of control. All the money in the world isn’t enough to buy his way out of the problems Cayden has created. When Zara confesses to no longer feeling safe and secure in their relationship, a friend gives him an idea on how he can make her feel protected. Cayden agrees to pay his friend, Ashton, and his brother, Mayven, to pretend to rob them. He thinks when Zara sees him as her hero, she will be open and vulnerable… ready to reconcile. There’s just one problem… when Mayven sets eyes on Zara… Cayden’s valuables aren’t the only thing he plans to take. Will Zara and Cayden be able to withstand his latest stunt, or will Cayden end up setting his wife up for true love?
Amazon page Link — follow me here for a collection of all of my eBooks in one place. You’ll also get updates on my books directly from Amazon!
As always, thanks for the continued support! Drop me a comment below so we can chat!
When you mute the chatter and noise, you find peace and guidance in the silence.
This pandemic has taken me on an emotional rollercoaster. In the beginning, I was okay with it. I was a home body by nature, so I didn’t think being forced to stay in the house would be a big deal. The ideas were flourishing and I was content.
As one month turned into two and two turned into five… that contentment became angst. I’ve been suffering with triggers, overthinking, worry, and anxiety… sometimes on a daily basis. What I’ve learned about myself is that I have a major need to be in control. If I’m not in control of everything that concerns me… I feel a lot of dis-ease. I started going to therapy last month, and it helped me out a lot. But, if I was unable to talk to my therapist when I needed her most, I would have an episode. (Again, control.)
So that caused me to realize while therapy is necessary and very helpful, I have to learn 1. To self-soothe and 2. Learn to release my need of control and go with the flow. As I’ve been working on both things, my thoughts began to grow louder and louder and louder. The walls of my home and mind were closing in on me… and no one but no one knew.
It became more difficult for me to trust myself and my thoughts because I was having so many conflicting ones, which led to it being impossible for me to trust those in my life. In every instance and situation, I kept thinking about the worst possible outcome out of fear and my need to be in control. Long story short, sis was drowning, okay?
I woke up yesterday, just above water. From the moment I got up, I was on edge. I felt like it would be the day I broke. Completely. My mind had begun to spin too many times and ways with too many thoughts, issues, possibilities, reminders, and promises. My edge was crumbling. I literally felt the rocks breaking underneath my feet, and I was afraid of when and how I would fall. How I would crash. Break.
Would it be on myself? My partner? An author? Reader?
I made the decision, quickly, to remove all of my social media apps indefinitely and silence my raging thoughts. Almost immediately, just from that one act, I felt a million pounds lighter. There’s something about being mindful of what you’re feeding your mind with that gives you peace. I smiled, genuinely, as my body relaxed and mind slowed down. For the first time in months, I felt like I had control of something. I felt like I wasn’t being pulled in a million directions. Like I didn’t have to try. Or be. Or teach. Or entertain. Or help. My mind wasn’t being filled with drama, shade, conflicting opinions and ideas, or any form of negativity.
Almost as soon as I did this, my mind opened up. A fully laid out plan dropped into my spirit on the next move for me and my career. My publishing company. And as if that wasn’t enough of a win, my nephew was born just before the day was over. I’d been depressed for months because I was unable to see my sister. I’d only seen her once, at her baby shower, ALL FUCKING YEAR. Well, okay, I may have seen her once or twice before March but still. It didn’t feel like those mattered. From March to August 1st, I hadn’t seen her at all. Hug her. Love on her. Rub her belly. All I could do was buy her things to try and compensate for my lack of presence, but that didn’t really help. Still, I told myself that that was for the best because of the virus. Even though I haven’t had it, I didn’t want to risk anything happening to her and the baby. This was the longest I’d ever gone without seeing my sister, and that hurt me to my core. I think that’s what hurt worse.
But our little Leo Lion King is here now, and even though I want to stay away to keep him safe, I might throw caution to the wind and go see him next week. Because, it’s a mind thing. You know? The paranoia and overthinking. The fear. Solitary confinement is NOT the way for your girl, lol.
Anyway, I’ve been jamming to Mali Music and Jhene Aiko, reading my bible, and studying spiritual teachers to help keep sane. I wanted to write this blog post to express how helpful stepping back has been for me. In only 24 hours, my mind has… experienced a lightness and freedom that I haven’t felt all year.
I encourage you to take control of your triggers and those things that make you feel trapped. Consumed. Confined. It may not be social media for you. Whatever it is making you feel held prisoner… release yourself from it, beloved. Don’t get so caught up in hustling. FLOW.
For me, this pandemic has meant the death and the end of a lot of things, including my ego. It’s been uncomfortable as hell, but necessary. Because now, I’m learning and preparing to give birth to new things. So, with this blog post, I say goodbye to the old… and hello to the new.
I’m not sure how long I’ll be gone… probably until I have a book to drop. But when I do come back, I promise you, you won’t recognize me. :)
Love and light to you,
B. Love
Hey, book bae!
If you read Strumming My Pain, you already know the main characters of With His Song. Eva is the sister of Elise, a woman who saw her boyfriend’s murder unfold during one of the most intimate of moments. After this happens, she goes to Legacy Lakes for protection, where she meets Izeah Moses - Hezekiah’s brother.
As soon as Hezekiah sees Eva and learns a little bit about her, he’s smitten with her. He KNOWS she belongs to him, even if she doesn’t know it yet. Hezekiah is a natural born leader and protector. He has a savior complex… but Eva doesn’t want to be saved. She doesn’t want to trust another man because the father of her son, Miles, is giving her hell on earth!
While Eva battles Miles, she finds herself seeking the peace and comfort of Legacy Lakes… and Hezekiah, but it is not easy. Eva wants freedom and a new start in life, however, she wants to get both on her own terms in her own way. Hezekiah literally has the key to her future in his hand, and all he wants in exchange is her heart and a place in Saint’s life. You’ll have to read it on the 16th to find out if she gives him that :)
—
Sneak Peek
Unedited
On his way home, Hezekiah called Eva, but it went straight to voicemail. He wouldn’t be surprised if her phone died overnight and she hadn’t bothered to charge it yet. He was surprised, though, when he pulled into his driveway and saw a red car parked in it. And he was even more surprised when he looked on his porch and saw Eva seated with a sleeping Saint in her lap. Hezekiah thought he’d be happy to see her again when the time came, but the only feeling consuming him now was worry.
If Eva was in Legacy Lakes, it had to be for a reason – and there was no part of Hezekiah that told him it was a good one. After taking in a deep breath, Hezekiah got out of his car and headed in their direction. Standing over her, Hezekiah pushed her flowing hair out of her face. Eva smiled, but it didn’t lift to her puffy eyes.
Had she been crying?
Who in the fuck made her cry?
Trying to restrain his anger, Hezekiah inhaled a shaky breath and took a step back. He was way too damn attached to this woman and her child. This was his second time seeing her and he was already ready for war over her.
Hezekiah unlocked the door and grabbed the bag in the chair next to the one Eva was sitting in. His eyes were focused on a still sleeping Saint, and Hezekiah couldn’t help but smile. Though he’d seen no pictures of his father, Saint looked like every bit of his mother. That was good. Because he was her baby. And the last thing Eva needed was a daily reminder of the man who had fucked her over in the worst way… even if he did give her the best gift possible.
After quietly shutting the door behind them, Hezekiah led them to his bedroom since his guest rooms had never been furnished. Eva placed Saint in the middle of his bed, and after encasing him with all the pillows Hezekiah had to offer, she sat on the edge of his bed. It was obvious that she wasn’t ready to talk yet, so Hezekiah left to give Eva her space. He went into the living room and called Elise, not surprised that she and Izeah were headed that way as soon as he told her that Eva was on his doorstep with Saint.
Hezekiah paced in his living room, unsure of how much time had passed before he heard Saint’s sleepy whimpers. Grabbing a banana from the kitchen, Hezekiah headed back to his room. The sight of Saint rubbing his eyes as Eva rocked him caused a slow smile to spread across his face. Saint was currently infatuated with bananas. He only had four little, tiny teeth, but he loved putting them to work.
His chocolate cheeks were chubby, and there was something about his little rolls on his arms and legs that always made Hezekiah want to pick him up and tickle him whenever he saw a picture of him. Hezekiah tried to hand Eva the banana, but she shook her head.
She pouted, realizing, “You noticed,” before smiling. Hezekiah nodded. “You want to break it up and give it to him?”
“You sure?”
Eva nodded. “Yea. See if he will recognize your voice and face from FaceTime.”
“Saint,” Hezekiah called, and Saint immediately looked up at him with a smile. “What’s up, lil man?”
Stretching his arms out, Saint melted Hezekiah’s heart as he requested silently to be held. With no hesitation, Hezekiah picked him up and walked him over to the recliner on the side of his bed.
“What you been up to? Yo’ old lady been treating you right?”
Saint’s head bobbed as he spoke his own language, getting a laugh out of both Hezekiah and Eva. He continued to talk to Saint and ask him questions, and Saint continued to give him responses that he couldn’t understand. Well, he could understand when Saint said no no no, sure he was trained to understand that from home. He was at that age where he was scooting around trying to get into anything he possibly could.
As Hezekiah fed Saint the banana, he tried to keep his eyes from Eva. Whatever was going on with her had her soul tired. And troubled. She’d laid back and fallen asleep on the edge of his bed. Hezekiah started to put her in it correctly and cover her up, but he didn’t want to wake her, so he took Saint out of the room and closed the door instead.
While they waited for Elise and Izeah to arrive, Hezekiah played nursery rhymes for Saint on his keyboard. He started to give him a piano lesson on his organ but figured he was probably too young for that. The whole time he played, Saint’s small fist gripped the back of his shirt as he bounced and sang along… and Hezekiah was sure that there was no place else he’d rather be.
—
—
Are you ready to read about Eva’s heart being serenaded by Hezekiah’s song? Let me know in a comment!
Sooo… I couldn’t very well not participate in this years #BLPSummerSizzle! We are bringing the heat… literally. I can’t give a release date for this book yet, but, I can tell you that it will be out within the first week of August! To be among the first to know when this book will go live, sign up for my mailing list by texting BLOVE to 42828 or click here — OR join my Facebook group - The Author B. Love Honeycomb.
SYNOPSIS:
Merrick and Aries are longtime friends, however, they don’t always see eye to eye. During a heated group discussion, the opposite sex pair debate if people can maintain healthy relationships in the sex worker industry, because of the popularity of Only Fans. To settle their opposing views, they agree to create an account together and make some easy, quick money along the way.
With dreams neither Merrick nor Aries can afford to loom, they outline the deal — engage in a public, sexual relationship until they’ve both met their financial goals. The proposal seems full of gain and worthy of the exposure… as if anything is ever that easy.
Great sex and big checks become twisted feelings, and time only further betrays the performing lovers. When one of them has the chance to be with the person they’ve lusted after for years, the plan and their friendship is put to the test.
—
As always, thanks for the continued support, and I hope you’re ready for a wild, nasty ride :)
Fast by Millie Belizaire
I wasn't really expecting anything when I picked up this book. Millie is a new author to me, and more than anything, I was drawn in by the cover. When I saw the triggers, I thought, "Well this isn't going to bother me," but I was WRONG. Between Millie's amazing ability to paint Caprice's life and picture and the state of the world, my personal world, I was shook. It was very hard for me to get through the first Act of the book without repeatedly stopping and willing myself not to cry, but I'm glad I pushed through. Caprice and Shaun's love story was beautiful, yes, but more than that... the healing that took place was necessary. The anger it evoked and responsibility I felt afterwards... I can't explain it. Just read the book, but definitely be mindful of the triggers.
5 stars! Link
Hey, y’all! Happy Sunday! Today’s sample Sunday is the first chapter for Kisses for My Side Mistress. It’s my exclusive paperback for the month! Available on my site for today only, this love triangle is one you do not want to miss!
Unedited Sneak Peek
Dominique
I was bored as fuck, and I had no one to blame but myself. If I had a normal social life with friends or, at least, a healthy relationship with my family, I would have people to entertain me when I couldn’t get in touch with Bando. Things started changing in my life the moment I met and began to date him. And over the past five years of our… entanglement… I’ve lost more people and things than I ever imagined I thought I would.
It was a Saturday evening, and instead of me having the time of my twenty-eight-year-old life, I was sitting on the couch as “Living Single” played in the background. I’d seen the reruns so much I knew the episode playing word for word, but that wasn’t the reason I was half listening. I was half listening because my eyes were trained on my phone.
I never thought I’d be the type waiting by the phone for a nigga to text back, but I was. The first text I sent Bando went through around eleven this morning. It was eight p.m., and I still hadn’t heard from his ass. The longer I waited for his reply, the more irritated I grew. My mind kept replaying over and over again the fact that he was probably with his wife trying to play me instead of being in the streets getting this money.
When I couldn’t take it anymore, I called him, and he immediately sent me to voicemail. That shit only pissed me off more. And he knew that. That was one of the few things I asked of him – don’t ever ignore me. I had a horrible childhood, and as punishment, my father would ignore me for hours. Days. Just because I looked like my mother. She died giving birth to me.
Any time a man ignored me, it immediately triggered me and took me back to my past. That little girl who would have said and done anything to get her father’s attention. His love. Validation. Hell… a hug and a smile.
Immediately after he ignored my call, I sent him a text that said, If I don’t hear from you within one hour, this will be the last text you EVER get from me.
By the time I’d finished rolling my blunt, he was texting me back.
Here you go.
No. Here you go. Where you at? And why did you ignore my call? I haven’t heard from you all damn day.
I apologize Dominique
My eyes rolled, and I chuckled as my nostrils flared. He didn’t tell me where he was, which meant he was at home with her. I knew that in my mind, but my heart still needed him to say it.
Where are you Bando?
At the hospital. Kimber had the baby.
I stared at his text for so long my eyes dried. After blinking, I texted a simple Congratulations and blocked his damn number, vowing to never speak to him again.
Massaging my temples, I fought my tears.
How in the fuck did I fall in love with a married man?
Well, there was really no need in me asking that because I was already aware of the answer.
When I met Bando five years ago, we never really talked about our relationship statuses. I was single, and because he pursued me so heavily, I assumed he was too. Bando was in the streets way heavier than he was now, and I would always be riding shotgun with him as he took care of his business. He bought me anything I ever wanted, made me quit my job so he could pay my bills, and showed me a life of luxury that I’d only dreamed of.
By the time I found out he was married, I was sprung as hell. Not only was he charming and sweet with a rough side, but he had big bank and a big dick. Bando was that perfect mix of sweet, savage, and romantic… I was absolutely smitten over him.
At first, I tried to cut him off, but that didn’t last long. He really fought to get me back, and he explained his situation with Kimber to me. Though they were married, they weren’t in love. He told me that he would divorce her, and like a damn fool I believed him. To his credit, he did file for a divorce, but it was never fucking finalized. She found out she was pregnant with their first child three months later, so he stayed around.
Technically they were still legally married even though we were in a relationship. To him, the fact that he’d filed for divorce should have been enough. He said he was sticking around only for the baby, but one baby has turned into three, and we still haven’t had one. I used to wonder if God was punishing me by not giving me a baby knowing how much I wanted one, but it was nights like this where I realized He was looking out for me when I couldn’t look out for myself. The last thing I needed was a baby to attach me to Bando for the rest of my life.
Yes, I loved him, but I refused to be his side chick any longer.
With a sigh, I lit the blunt and allowed my eyes to settle on the TV. Bando had given me a lot, but he never gave me what I really needed from him. And being with him had taken away so much from me. It didn’t just take away my family and friends who didn’t approve of us, but he took my peace and security too. My confidence. My mind. He kept doing his thing over the years and I was a fool to think he’d ever change.
We worked so well in the beginning because he was in the streets more, which meant he had more time for me. The moment Kimber had their first child, Bando Jr., that changed. He was at home more, with me less, and obviously in her pussy faithfully. Meanwhile my dumb ass wasn’t entertaining any other niggas. It truly went down in my DMs and I was curving men left and right to be faithful to Bando.
No more.
The Fourth of July Hood Ball was two weeks away, and I was going to find someone to invite me. Every year I couldn’t go because of Bando. It was one of the liveliest nights in Memphis, and I hadn’t been able to go for our entire relationship. The Hood Ball was basically like an adult prom where you could smoke and drink and turn the fuck up! Every year a King and Queen of the streets was crowned. Sometimes it was a money maker and their spouse or two money makers who weren’t together. Bando had won for the past two years, and I wasn’t sure if his lack of time in the streets would be enough to keep him from winning this year.
There was… something about Bando. Something captivating about him. If you knew him, you loved him. He never had any enemies beyond those who envied him. You couldn’t hate him unless it was because you didn’t want to love him. He was just… that nigga. And I think that was why I wanted him to be my nigga. Because that made me that bitch.
Didn’t matter anymore.
It would be hard, as hell, but I would have to remove Bando from every part of me. Even the crevices of my soul and spirit that I wouldn’t be able to physically reach. Whatever it would take, I couldn’t make the mistake of letting another year go by or another baby come before I released him. My prayer was that one of these DMs I overlooked led to a new man to talk to and help me keep my mind off of him.
—
The last day to purchase the paperback until mid-October is today! Use the code FREEB for free shipping. Here’s the link.
As always, thanks for the support!
Stay well!
Hey y’all!
On July 14th my very first mystery/suspense novella comes out!
Here’s a sneak peek of it. :)
—
It felt like just as soon as Siara had fallen into a deep slumber, the sound of banging jolted both her and Silky out of their sleep. Clutching her chest, she drew in deep, ragged breaths.
“Who the hell is that?” she asked, watching as Silky sat on the side of the bed.
“The only niggas bold enough to bang on your door like that in the heat of the night is 12. Put on some clothes, and don’t leave this room until I tell you to.”
Siara nodded, but there was no part of her that wanted to let Silky handle this himself. Though he’d earned her submission, they were partners against problems within their marriage. And if the police were showing up at their house at three o’clock in the morning, Siara wanted to know why.
Quickly, they both leaped from their seats. Silky placed his finger on his lips, telling her to keep silent. She watched as he grabbed his phone, probably checking to see if he had any warrants. Those days were long gone, though. Ever since he’d gone to Howard, Silky had stayed out of trouble.
Before she could finish putting on the top to her pajamas, their front door was being kicked in. Silky’s calm demeanor was beginning to fade away, apparent by the way he tossed his phone onto the bed and stalked out of the room. She grabbed his phone, opened the camera, and began to record as she followed him down the hall.
As several voices screamed fugitive squad, warrant, and MPD, Siara was sure her heart was going to pop out of her chest. It was her instinct to step in front of Silky and protect him, but he quickly pushed her behind. With his hands up, Silky made clear, “We’re unarmed, but I do have weapons in the house.”
They were told to turn and get on their knees, and Silky agreed in one breath and warned them that no one better lay a hand on his wife with another. One of the officers came up to them and asked who Silky was. As soon as he confirmed his identity, he was placed in handcuffs.
“May I ask what this is about?” Siara wondered, unsure of anything her husband could have done to warrant this.
“He’s wanted for the murder of Julia Shivers.”
“Murder?” they both almost yelled in unison.
Siara watched as Silky was lifted to his feet and patted down. Silky was a lot of things, but a murderer was not one. There was no way in hell he could have murdered Julia, no matter how much he couldn’t stand his ex-wife.
“I didn’t kill her or anyone else.”
“He was home with me all night.”
“Don’t say another word,” Silky ordered. “Just call our lawyer.”
Siara nodded as her brows wrinkled and nostrils flared. Her heart had gone from beating rapidly against her ribcage to hardly beating at all. The closer Silky got to the door, the harder it was for her to breathe.
“Can I put some shoes on him?” she asked, voice trembling as she fought back tears.
The officer holding his left arm nodded. Clutching her chest, Siara briskly walked up the stairs and down the hall. She took a moment in their closet to inhale a deep breath, willing herself not to break. Once she was composed, Siara grabbed his shoes and headed back downstairs. Kneeling before him, she avoided Silky’s eyes. As he took his feet out of his house shoes, she replaced them with his sneakers. When she was done, Siara stood and ran her hands down his chest.
“Call Taylor,” Silky directed, voice low enough for only her to hear.
“I love you.”
“I love you more, and I didn’t do this.”
Siara nodded as they dragged him away, because Silky wouldn’t leave her willingly. Not for this or anything else.
—
This baby will be available as an eBook on Amazon and my site as a paperback. You will be able to order the paperback starting July 14th until the 31st. After the 31st, my paperback store will be closed until October/November.
—
Happy Sunday, and get ready for this wild ride!
Hey, book bae!
Here’s a sample Sunday trio from Strumming My Pain, Femi, and Last Chance to Love plus a quick look inside Kisses for My Side Mistress — July and August’s exclusive paperback!
Strumming My Pain
Swallowing hard, Elise confessed, “I’m not usually shy and reserved, especially sexually.”
“So what’s got you so tight now?”
Pressing her lips together, she spread her gloss around them more… teasing him. Making him wish they were connected to his lips.
“I know you’re tired of hearing it, because I’m tired of saying it.” She smiled softly, and Izeah couldn’t pull himself to disagree with her. “But I don’t want to let those feelings stand in the way of us tonight.” Elise reached out her hand, and Izeah placed it inside of his. “Will you be okay with us being intimate physically and not going all the way? I should have asked that first before I made that request.”
“You never have to ask that of me, Sunshine. I will always be at your disposal.”
Relief washed over her face before she led him into her room. Sitting on the edge of the bed, Izeah watched as she lit candles and incense. Sandalwood wafted through the room, but it was mixed with something else. He asked, and she told him it was patchouli—both used for relaxation and to calm a person’s nerves. Elise opened the curtains and cut off the lights. She turned the TV on, choosing an R&B music station.
Standing in front of him, she requested, “Undress me.”
Biting back a moan, Izeah wrapped his hands around the back of her legs and pulled her closer. She secured herself by placing her hands on his shoulders, keeping her eyes locked with his. With precision, Izeah removed her shoes and clothing until all that remained was the nude bra and panty set she had on. With his hands on her hips, Izeah brushed his nose across her stomach as he inhaled her scent.
Typically, he didn’t care for fruity smells on women because it seemed immature, but as he inhaled the mango scent of her body, he couldn’t help but envision her laying on the beach with fruit juice dripping down her chin as her nectar coated his. The more he smelled her, the more he wanted to taste her, and that was the only reason he stood to undress.
A small smile lifted the corners of his mouth when Elise didn’t step back. This was the version of her he was waiting to see. Her hands immediately began to slide down his hairy chest. Down his six-pack. Briefly, they slipped inside the space between his hips and boxers, but she pulled them out and climbed into bed.
Izeah crawled in behind her, releasing a contented sigh as his arm wrapped around her. She covered it with hers, scooting even further into his embrace.
“I needed this… so bad.” She couldn’t have known how sensuous her voice sounded. Or maybe she did. Maybe she knew it would make his already-hard dick throb against her. Elise moaned quietly, brushing her ass against it. “That for me?”
“Whenever you want it to be.”
“It feels big. Can I touch it?”
—
eBook link — bit.ly/SMPBLove
Paperback link — https://www.authorblove.net/b-love-books/strumming-my-pain
Pulling me into him, Amaru kept his arms wrapped around me as his lips kissed up my neck and ear. As soon as his tongue slipped inside, I bit down on my lip and giggled.
“Amaru,” I whispered, voice laced with lust.
“That still turn you on?”
“Like crazy.”
He groaned quietly within his throat. As his fingers began to sweep across my waist, my heart began to palpitate. Hard – and fast.
Shit.
My nerves were about to get the best of me.
Tugging my lip between my teeth, I squeezed my eyes together tightly and inhaled a deep breath. His hands traveled up my stomach. Squeezed my breasts. I took his jeans into the palms of my hands and gripped them tightly for support.
“Get in your bed.”
Doing as I was told, I climbed into the center of my bed. Amaru waited until I was laying comfortably to slowly undress. I watched intently as each piece of his clothing began to fall. By the time he was standing before me in only his gray boxers, I was swallowing hard and closing my legs just to open them and close them all over again.
The bulge in his boxers reminded me of just how thick and long his dick was. Not that I could forget it. Or its curve. And if time and experience made him an even better lover, there was no way in hell this weekend would end and I not be sprung. Amaru casually retrieved a condom from his wallet – as if he wasn’t nervous about this at all. Maybe he wasn’t. Maybe it was just me overreacting. I didn’t have a need to, though.
I dominated everything in my life, so I could dominate sex with an ex too.
Closing my eyes, I tried to inhale a deep breath, but it came out short and choppy instead. I covered my face when I felt his body dent the bed. With his weight hovering over me, Amaru chuckled quietly. It made me smile before I felt myself want to cry. This shit was probably a hilarious joke to him while I, on the other hand, was going fucking crazy on the inside!
“Carter,” he called, and that only made it worse. Because he had always been the only person to call me by my last name. No baby or boo or sweetheart… just Carter. The way he said it always made it sound like the sweetest, most endearing pet name in the world.
“Hmm?”
“Are you okay?”
“Uh – yes. Are you okay?”
He lowered my left hand and wrapped it around his hardened shaft. Dammit. I’d missed him taking his boxers off.
“Does it feel like I’m okay?”
—
eBook link — https://bit.ly/LastChanceToLove
Paperback link — https://www.authorblove.net/b-love-books/last-chance-to-love
Happy with his dismissal, Asylum made his way to the dining room table and made himself comfortable. Since she was doing something special for him, he wanted to do something special for her as well. After placing an order for every flavor of popcorn on the Funky Chunky site and having it shipped to her address, he opened a private browser and looked up videos on pussy eating on Pornhub. Up until now, he’d never been ashamed of the fact that he only had sex doggy style or in the dark to avoid the intimacy of looking in a woman’s eyes. And as much as he received head, he’d never had a reason to give it.
No woman ever made him want to.
And he could make them come repeatedly with his fingers and thick, ten-inch dick.
But… there was something about Femi. Something that had him craving the feeling of her lips against his, wanting to slowly stroke her while he stared into her eyes, and desiring to learn how to eat her pussy until she begged him to stop.
Asylum didn’t realize how long he’d been watching the videos until she stood behind him, asking, “You taking notes?” Jumping up from his seat, Asylum quickly slammed his phone down on the table. Femi held her stomach and she doubled over in laughter. “The hell you so shaky for?”
“Yo’ daddy ain’t teach you not to sneak up on a nigga like that?”
She was still laughing so hard, tears were forming in her eyes. As startled and irritated as he was, the sight of her having such a good laugh at his expense calmed him down.
“He did, but that didn’t include walking up on my man watching porn.”
When she realized what she said, her laughter immediately died down. The tension was thick between them as they stared at each other in silence. Femi was the first to move. She walked along the side of him and placed the cornbread on the table. As she tried to walk away, Asylum gently grabbed her arm and pulled her into his chest.
“What you runnin’ for?” he asked with a low voice, though he already knew the answer.
“I didn’t mean that.”
“Mean what?”
Femi stared into his eyes, gauging his seriousness. “You’re really going to make me repeat it?” He nodded. “That you were my man. I didn’t mean that.”
“So I’m not?”
Her head shook. “No. We said we weren’t doing that. Right?” He nodded. “So, no.”
“But what if I wanna be?”
“Do you?”
He did, but he couldn’t pull himself to say it. Instead, he changed the subject. “I wasn’t watching the shit just for the sake of watching it. I was trying to see what to do.”
Femi’s smile returned. “When do I get to see, well, feel, what you’ve learned?”
Licking his lips, Asylum wrapped his free arm around her as well. “As far as I’m concerned, you can feed me that pussy right after dinner.”
—
Paperback link — https://www.authorblove.net/b-love-books/2020/5/12/i7roy6i6lo5l202vdobeid9zojsfxn
Synopsis —
Dominique is a glorified side chick, and she has no problem with it, until her long term boyfriend, Bando, stops spending as much time with her as he used to. But what one man won't do, another certainly will.
Jealousy brings out the worst in Bando, and he'll do anything he can to make Dominique's Fourth of July one for the books, if he can figure out how to get away from his wife, Kimber, who is just as clueless to his infidelity as she is to his lack of love.
Dominique faces a hard choice when real love presents itself in someone who's better equipped to give it to her. Lawrence, a DM gone right, has Dominique's best interest at heart, even if she doesn't for herself.
This Fourth of July, prepare yourself for the impossible, in Kisses For My Side Mistress...
Paperback preorder link — https://www.authorblove.net/b-love-books/kisses-for-my-side-mistress-preorder
Hey, book bae!
Strumming My Pain goes live July 2nd… next week! Here’s an unedited sample for your reading pleasure ♥️ And if you want to preorder it, here’s the link!
Izeah spent so much time on the roof that he’d built a wooden table with two benches on top of it. As he ushered the sun to begin to rise, he prayed within himself and waited for God to meet him there. Elise did first. His eyes were trained on her as she slowly walked over to where he stood. Her hair was wild, sitting on top of her shoulders and pushed in front of her eyes. She was dressed in a black bodysuit that left nothing to his imagination.
Izeah’s mouth dried, and he licked his lips as he took her in from head to toe. Her right leg was covered in a tattoo sleeve and so was her right arm. The red lipstick that stained her lips was almost too appetizing to deny. But he would. Because right now… she needed a friend.
“Can I join you?” she asked, unrolling her yoga mat in front of him.
His eyes lowered to her exposed ass cheeks. Afraid his voice would crack, Izeah only nodded.
When he began to play, she began to move. Stretching first, then making yoga look like the most erotic thing he’d ever seen in his life. It was hard as fuck for him to maintain focus, but the more he watched, the more in sync they became. As her body bent and curved and slithered and rolled and caved, he felt his dick growing harder and harder. And by the time the sun rose, his entire body was jerking as he came. So did she.
Her body convulsed as she rested on her hands and knees. Toes curling, she released a shaky breath and quiet whimper as her hair covered her face. With her lips parted, she inhaled a deep breath.
Rolling her neck, Elise pushed her hair out of her face and looked up at him with a breathless smile.
Setting his guitar on the table, Izeah was convinced… Elise was dangerous… and she needed to be avoided at all costs.
“Good morning, Moses.”
“This is the shit I’m not about to do with you,” he rejected, standing from the table.
Her laugh was innocent as she stood in front of him. “What are you talking about?”
“Why do you call me Moses?”
Elise’s smile wavered. “It’s your last name.”
“Don’t lie to me. You can’t. You’ve told me the truth, even when I didn’t want you to. I need you to now. Why do you call me Moses?”
Her mouth twisted to the side as she sighed. Squeezing each of her fingers, she pushed her shoulders back and lifted her chin slightly higher.
“Because Moses… he led God’s people out of their bondage. He set aside his needs for theirs. I know I have to heal myself of this grief, and I would never expect you to, but you do inspire me to come out of my bondage.”
His stance relaxed as he leaned against the table.
“Good morning, Sunshine.”
She smiled. “Why do you call me Sunshine?”
Izeah shrugged. “God told me to. Do you care to tell me why?”
Tugging a piece of her hair, Elise absently took a step closer to him. “My sister sings ‘You Are My Sunshine’ when I need to be calmed down. It grounds me. She’d just finished singing it before you popped up last night.”
“I’m sorry if I upset you.”
“No.” Her head shook as she smiled softly. “It wasn’t you at all. It was me. I was conflicted over what I was feeling in that moment. But it wasn’t your fault, Izeah.”
Unable to resist, Izeah wrapped his palm around her hair. He used it to pull her closer, removing all space between them. Though her lips parted slightly as she looked up at him through lowered eyes, Izeah knew she wasn’t ready—even if she wanted to be.
“I’m gonna go. Create a great day, Elise, a’ight?”
She nodded, gripping his wrist tightly. Not releasing it until she was ready for him to walk away, Elise stepped back and turned her back to him. Her eyes remained on the sky as he left, but Izeah was unable to ignore her looking toward him as he walked through the door.
—
Are you ready for more??
Here’s an introductory soundbite for Strumming My Pain along with a sneak peek, the preorder link, and the Goodreads link for you to add it to your TBR list! Strumming My Pain goes live July 2nd, and I hope you’re ready for it!
Unedited, nasty, and explicit
His lips brushed her ear, peppering her skin with tiny goosebumps. Each heavy breath that he released into her ear made her shiver. Gripping a handful of her hair, he hummed quietly, speeding up his methodical strokes. He lifted himself slightly, bringing their mouths within the same breathing space. Lips parted, she inhaled his exhales… fed him quiet moans.
As her back arched, Elise grabbed her ankles and spread her legs wide, opening up for more of him. Quan lifted his chest from hers entirely, allowing his eyes to focus in on her bouncing breasts. Elise’s eyes went to their connection. To his thick, veiny shaft pressing its way deeply inside of her. The sight of her nectar coating him had Elise biting down on her bottom lip as she whimpered.
“I love watching you hide your dick in me,” Elise moaned, brows wrinkling as her eyes fluttered. “Look at how wet you got my pussy, Quan.”
With a growl, Quan wrapped her legs around him before covering her neck with his hand. “Shut your nasty ass up before I nut inside of you.”
Her giggle turned into a moan. “Cum in me. I want all your babies.”
Though she smiled, Elise was serious. They’d been dating on and off since she was fourteen. When they were low, shit was ugly. Toxic. Paralyzing. But when they were high, it was heaven. Right now, they were high, and Elise was sure nothing could be higher than this.
“You serious?”
Nodding, Elise inhaled a breath through trembling lips. Cupping her B cupped breasts, she arched her back as her walls began to hug him tighter. Briefly, she watched her clear nectar turn milky white as she began to cum before her eyes shut.
“Bae,” Quan moaned, lowering himself down to her.
Ignoring the fact that her mouth was open as she moaned his name, Quan sucked her bottom lip into his mouth and kissed her. Strokes growing sporadic, Quan prepared to do just as she’d asked. Just as she’d granted.
“I love you,” he confessed, body jerking as he came inside of her.
“I love you just the same.”
Her tremors stopped before his. Elise’s hand found its way to his balls, massaging them gently, getting a grunt out of him as he continued to cum.
“Shit,” he groaned, making them both chuckle.
But their chuckling stopped immediately at the sound of his door being kicked in. Quan turned, pulling himself out of her quickly.
“Quan, no,” she screamed, grabbing his arm and trying to pull him back down to her… but it was too late.
The bullet lodged in the center of his forehead, killing him instantly. But that didn’t matter to Elise. Not Elise the nurse, nor Elise the drug lord’s girlfriend. As his body dropped against the bed, she straddled him and cupped his cheeks.
“Quan,” she called, watching blood trickle down from the hole.
Scrambling out of the bed, she grabbed her phone, finally realizing the gunman was still at the door. Lifting her hands, she considered trying to assure him that she wouldn’t snitch, but he was probably going to pull the trigger regardless. Inhaling a deep breath, Elise closed her eyes and said a quick prayer. But the gun never fired. She stood there, trembling. Crying softly. Until she heard the front door slam behind him.
Her eyes opened, but they were in no rush to travel over to Quan. Instead, she forced them to focus on her phone. She dialed 911, then climbed back into bed. Convincing herself that there was still a chance for him, as long as the bullet didn’t bounce around and he didn’t go into shock, Elise put the call on speaker to let them know what had happened as she began to try and wake Quan up.
Because he could have been just sleeping.
Just unconscious.
Still able to look into her eyes.
And make his way back to her.
—
Whew!
I hope you’re ready for this ride! Let me know in a comment below!
Here’s a two minute sound bite on Last Chance to Love. It goes live Monday, so tomorrow, I’ll be back with a sneak peek ♥️
Hey book bae! But Without Haste will be out soon! In the meantime, here’s a soundbite that will give you a look into the lives of the main characters!
Haelston is unlike most men in the way that he craves love, or used to, until his last several relationships didn’t pan out. Consumed with the fact that he can’t find the woman of his dreams, he gives up and decides it would be better if he focuses on his career as an artist.
In the middle of his focus, a monkey wrench is thrown into his plans when he hears of the passing of an ex-girlfriend. The funeral, surprisingly, creates an opportunity that even he won’t be able to deny, when he runs into the fun and confident Honey Bee.
Bee is a divorcée who is ready to jump back into the dating waters, and Haelston is exactly the type of man she’d like to sink her teeth into – if he’s ready to accept the love she has to give.
When love presents itself, will Haelston be strong enough to recognize and receive it, or will he miss the chance of a lifetime because of past disappointments?
Unfortunately, there’s been an issue with Amazon’s reviews uploading (if your book was released on certain days) and Goodreads algorithms. They have been unable to upload some books and show the reviews for these books. Because of this, quite a few readers have been unable to find books on GR or leave reviews on the site along with Amazon.
A few of the authors under BLP and quite a few outside of BLP have had this issue, and I did too. When I first uploaded I Need A Gangsta, it went live so quickly (within 2 hours) that I didn’t think we would have any problems. But… we did. It took quite some time to chart, I had to manually upload it to GR (so no cover and still no visibility except for those that see it on my page), and the reviewers are being told they cannot leave a review on Amazon. Several readers have come to me asking about this, and unfortunately, there’s nothing I can say or do.
I do, however, have an email that you can write to, to see about getting your reviews manually uploaded for other authors. It is — community-help@amazon.com
I was going to take it to the chin and let I Need A Gangsta fade away… but I haven’t had peace with that decision for the past 3 days. I’ve placed a lot of stock in this book, seeing as it’s the beginning of a family saga. If it isn’t seen… the rest of the books won’t be seen. No ma’am. Not only is it 72,000 words of goodness, but it’s honestly the beginning of what will be my best urban work yet.
So, I made the decision this morning to pull the book from Amazon. Don’t fret! I will be re-uploading it next month and the rest of the books will be uploaded along with it. Parts 1,2, and 3 will all be available early April… on the same day.
If you are an author who has had trouble with reviews on Amazon, direct your readers to the above email mentioned. if you are a reader who has had trouble posting your reviews, PLEASE shoot them an email to see if they can manually add the reviews for you. They are super, super important to authors as they help readers decide if they want to take a chance and read a book or not.
Hope you all understand <3
Write for you soon,
B. Love
#BtheBeast
Prolific Pen Pusher
Hey, book bae!
Here’s a recording of me rambling about Loveshed. If you were curious about it before downloading, listen to this soundbite! When you’re done, head over to Amazon to 1click Loveshed which is out now!
Hey, book bae! So… my 98th book goes live Friday! I’m super excited! Even more so because it’s my first street lit standalone in a really, really long time. Something takes over me when I do street lit or mafia style books… and this one is both! Before the book goes live, I wanted to familiarize you with the black mafia family this book features and explain how everyone is connected!
James Salzano and Trevor Bruce are best friends.
Estella and Pamela are best friends.
James and Estella are married.
Trevor and Pamela are married.
James has children with both women.
Trevor has children with both women.
Total… there are six children between the four best friends!
Cassius Salzano — James and Estella
The oldest. The leader. The first to act, though he is the calmest. Very detached, doesn’t value relationships of any kind outside of his family.
Diem Salzano — James and Estella
The shit talker. Alpha woman. Can’t be tamed.
Chief Salzano — James and Pamela
The reckless, wild cannon who can’t be faithful but wants to do right.
Eira Bruce — Trevor and Estella
The money and family man. Wants to detach from the business.
Eiryx Bruce — Trevor and Estella
The hopeless romantic who needs major looking after.
Ai Bruce — Trevor and Pamela
The baby who likes to buck the system.
Loveshed is available for preorder here, and it goes live on the 17th. Meet me back on my blog tomorrow for a final sneak peek!
Hey, book bae!
A Gangsta’s Paradise is now available on Amazon! You can click here to download it. Below is a 6 minute clip of me rambling about Ishmael and Rosalyn :) Have a listen, and let me know what you think about the couple after you’ve read their story!
Tomorrow, A Gangsta’s Paradise goes live! Here’s one final sneak peek!
Ishmael
Unedited
I was in love with a fucking prostitute. She swore she wasn’t a prostitute because she got paid for her time. Said she was an escort, and that was the difference. But I knew some niggas was getting up in that pussy because I was. And out of all the women I could have fallen in love with, my fucking ass chose the coldest bitch I’d encountered in all my life.
And that was saying a lot because I grew up in the hood and the streets raised me. I’d seen a lot of shit at a real young age. Even the most ruthless of women had nothing on Rosalyn Kennedy. Maybe I felt like that because I loved her, but so what?
Take now for instance – she was texting me talking shit like I wouldn’t pull up on her. Them other niggas she dealt with may have let her talk crazy to them, but she had the right one with me. I couldn’t wait to see if she would have the balls in my face that she had over the phone.
After what happened last night, I didn’t know if I was going to see her tonight or not. Since she seemed like she was in one of her moods, I asked her what time she planned to come through just to see where her mind was at. She had the nerve to tell me she wasn’t coming through because she had other plans. The shit pissed me off naturally because I scheduled time with her over a week ago, and she’d never pulled a stunt like this, so I felt like she felt some type of way about last night too.
That was cool. Whatever issue she had, she was gon’ have to talk about it to my face. When I calmed down enough to get out the car. Rosalyn had a way of calming me and pissing me off more than anybody else ever could. Even Jessica.
Jessica was my fiancée a little over three years ago. We were supposed to get married, have babies, and live a normal life. She knew the street life like I did because her father was the plug back in his day. He taught her the game in a way that made her perfect for me.
So perfect for me that she became a target for my enemies to capitalize on. They followed me for days on end and found out where I laid my head. While I was gone, they broke in, raped and beat her, then killed her. To this day, I still carry that guilt around with me. Only thing that made me feel a little bit better was the fact that I was able to hunt each and every one of them down and destroy every thing and person they loved before taking their lives.
What I’d done was on some hood John Wickshit. I became a legend before forty. Hell, before thirty. Now, nobody fucked with me–period. It taught me a valuable lesson, though. One that included having several homes, security and camera systems, bodyguards for those closest to me, and making sure no one knew where I laid my head now. My family didn’t even know about the house I had in Lakeland. Only person who knew about that home was Rosalyn, and that was saying a lot.
The community I lived in was gated and had security, so you weren’t able to get in without a code, and when you entered the code, you still had to stop at the security post to let them know who you were coming to see.
Losing Jessica caused me to detach for quite some time. I never wanted to get close to a woman again. Not only did I want to avoid anyone else losing their life because of me, but I didn’t want to ever grieve like that again. Over the years, with each person I loss, I felt that shit less and less. And I was content with that, until my feelings for Rosalyn started to grow.
I originally downloaded her app and planned to book one of her girls because it was recommended to me. It was safer physically than meeting a random female to fuck from time to time, and it was safer emotionally because I didn’t have to worry about catching feelings for them or worrying about if they had ulterior motives. When I logged into the app, she was the first woman I saw, and I was immediately captivated by her. It wasn’t just about her beauty – it was about her period.
Her personality, her aura, the way she presented herself and her services. With what I was going through, a nigga needed a safe haven. A paradise. And she became that for me.
In the beginning, it was about companionship. She became a friend that I kicked it with from time to time. When I needed sex, she gave that. But over the years we started sharing more about ourselves. She even came to Thanksgiving dinner with me last year because I was sick of my mama asking me when I was going to settle down again. My stupid ass thought if I was feeling for her how I was feeling, surely she had to be feeling something for me too.
After last night, I was starting to think that wasn’t the case and she was just damn good at her job.
Feeling calm enough to face her, finally, I decided to give her one last chance to come to her senses and get on some act right. Looking at her door, I dialed her number and waited for her to answer.
“Yes, Ishmael?” She was trying to have an attitude, but her voice was so damn soft and sensual that even the sound of her mad was like a sweet melody to my ear.
“You givin’ my time to someone else?”
She sighed into the phone, and as much as she didn’t want me to know, I knew it was because she was smiling when she spoke since I heard it in her voice. “A part of our agreement is that we are one hundred percent honest with each other because I don’t deal with liars. You, sir, are a liar. I will see you when I see you.”
Rosalyn hung up the phone, and just that quickly, my anger returned. Who the fuck was she calling a liar? If anyone was lying, it was her regarding how she felt about me. About us. But that was cool. I called her back, and before she could get hello out good, I was telling her, “Have the door open by the time I get to it, or I’m kicking that motherfucker down.”
Disconnecting the call, I cut my car off and waited a minute before I got out. She called me back as she looked out of the window, but I made no effort to answer her call. All that calling and texting was for the birds. A nigga like me needed that face to face action. Rosalyn couldn’t stand it either. Took away some of her control.
Getting out of the car, I ran my hand down my black v-neck shirt to smooth it out before closing the door behind me and hitting the alarm. There was no need for me to rush, so I slowly sauntered up her driveway as I took in my surroundings. There wasn’t anyone outside being nosey who could potentially call the police if I had to kick her door in for real, but I was hoping it wouldn’t come to that.
I jiggled the door, releasing a heavy sigh as my jaw clenched when I realized she hadn’t unlocked it. Taking a step back, I did what I told her I would do and kicked that motherfucker in. Took two kicks, but the second gave me access to her place as she yelped and tried to run up the stairs. I’d never been the type to chase, but I jogged towards her to keep her from getting away. Taking her by the arm, I pulled her into me and stared at her for a few seconds before asking, “You got another man in here?”
“What?” Her face scrunched up as she tried to push me away. “No.”
“Then what’s wit’ all dat shit you been talking, Rosalyn?”
“There isn’t another man in here, Ishmael. I just said that to irritate you because you pissed me off.”
Letting her go, I couldn’t keep myself from snarling as I hopped the stairs two by two and told her, “I don’t trust you no more.”
After checking every room in the house and the backyard, I found Rosalyn standing next to the door that she’d closed. Her ankles and arms were crossed, and she was wearing a smirk like she won something. As I walked up on her, I rubbed my pointer and thumb fingers down the corners of my mouth.
For a moment, I couldn’t help but take in her beauty. Rosalyn was pretty, sexy, and beautiful. It wasn’t a look or mood she couldn’t pull off. She had smooth, soft pecan brown skin. Skin that felt like she drenched herself in every oil and butter possible at night. Her frame was naturally slim thick. Like she was always eating soul food to get a fat ass and thick thighs but did crunches and shit to make sure her stomach stayed flat.
Her hair was styled in a pixie cut, shaved on the left side. The right side was layered and the longest part touched the top of her ear. Rosalyn had a classy style to her. From the way she styled her hair to the way she dressed and kept her French manicure and pedicure on point. She had medium sized bowtie shaped lips, a small nose, chubby cheeks and pretty hazel eyes. Eyes that made a nigga a fiend the first time I saw her in person.
But she almost always had them hidden behind sunglasses. She had to bless you with them motherfuckers man.
In her personal space, I gripped her neck with gentle force in that way her freaky ass liked.
As I expected, that smirk fell instantly and was replaced with her lips parting and eyes lowering with lust as she wrapped her hands around my wrist. I lowered myself to her ear, making sure she heard me perfectly when I told her, “I think since I’ve been a gentleman, you forgot who the fuck I am.”
“Ishma–”
“Shut up,” I gritted, tightening my hold slightly, getting a moan out of her. Her body weakened, and I had to remind my dick not to betray me and get hard for her. If she felt it, she could quickly turn the tables, and I needed to remind her that I was in control. “I’m too old be liking a woman that can’t reciprocate the feelings, so if you need me to fall back let me know and I will. But I know you, Paradise, and I know you feel for me what I feel for you. You treated me like I was the average sucka last night, then you copped an attitude for no reason today, and I ain’t ‘bout these games and shit. So you need to let me know what the fuck is going on now, otherwise I’ll deactivate my account, give you what you thinkyou want, and never deal with yo conflicted ass again.”
With a huff, Rosalyn’s eyebrows wrinkled. She whimpered softly before whispering, “Okay, Ish. I’ll come clean.”
Satisfied with her answer, I released her and put some space between us. Heading to her patio so I could enjoy the view of the lake, I told her, “Get me a shot of something and bring your ass on. Got me acting a fool kicking doors down and shit in this nice ass neighborhood.”
—
Hope you’re ready!
On December 6th, Rosalyn Kennedy and Ishmael SwaeLee make their debut in A Gangsta’s Paradise. It’s currently available for preorder here. Before their story goes live, I wanted to give you brief intros into their character. Also, if you follow me on social media, I’ve put their character visuals on my story!
Rosalyn:
Escort.
Owner of To The Highest Bidder
Very independent, self-made, and emotionally detached.
She knows how to get what she wants out of any man she comes in contact with.
Rosalyn has no desire to settle down and commit to a man.
She has a secret that’s been lingering for the past five years, and it threatens to tear her life apart if exposed.
Ishmael:
He’s a gangsta, and a gentleman.
Most of his money is made illegally, but he has a few legal businesses as well.
Very controlling, suave, and passionate.
Ishmael is CRAZY. Like… the kind of alpha crazy that makes you want to submit and buck the system to make him handle you at the same time.
He only wants Rosalyn, but he will never go to war with Rosalyn for Rosalyn.
These two are everything the other wants and needs. They balance each other out beautifully. There’s just… the problem of rule, submission, and secrecy.
Tomorrow, I’ll be back with a sneak peek. Make sure you subscribe to my blog to receive an email when the blog post goes live!
—
Talk to you tomorrow,
B. Love
Hey, y’all! A Gangsta’s Paradise drops Friday! It’s available for preorder here. In honor of today being sample Sunday, I wanted to share something with you :) Hope you enjoy!
Rosalyn
When we were done eating, we headed upstairs for the second part of his surprise. I was expecting more flowers and shit, so when I entered his room behind him and saw the fort that he’d set up I giggled in surprise all over again.
“Ishmael?” I called softly, cheesing hard as hell. Stepping in front of him, my head shook in disbelief. My eyes were wide and glossy as I stood there. Frozen.
“Yea, love?”
“What’s this?”
“A fort. I figured we could have dessert in there. Some wine. See where the night takes us.”
Turning, I took all that was Ishmael SwaeLee in. His tall, muscular, tattooed build. Walnut brown skin. Thick, short, beard. Square face, chiseled jaw. Skin colored lips. I loved his lips. His lips made me want to kiss. The top one was medium sized and the bottom one was plump and juicy as fuck. I loved his tight, balsamic colored eyes too.
God.
I simply loved everything about this man.
My head lowered, and I buried my face in the center of his chest. “You remembered,” I muttered, willing myself not to foster tears in my eyes. Opening my mouth slightly, I inhaled a deep, shaky breath. During the first year of our companionship, I shared with Ishmael how different my childhood was after he’d done the same.
I told him that I’d never really had the typical childhood. No normal things like sleepovers, birthday parties with friends, camping adventures and forts. Even as a child, I had to be aware of the harsh realities of life and grow up quick. It didn’t help that my body developed really fast. By fourteen, the few friendships I did have ended because their mothers didn’t want me around them.
Like being with me would somehow make their titties and hips sprout or give them a fat ass. Like my body came from fucking at fourteen and their daughters would do the same thing. At a young age, I got used to being alone. I didn’t have any siblings, just my mother and whatever freak of the week she was dealing with at the time. When I was ten, she left her pimp, and we moved into our own place. I can honestly say that was when we grew closest and she truly became my best friend.
Ishmael lifted my chin with his pointer finger and stared into my eyes with passion. With conviction. With… that thing that I just… wasn’t… couldn’t… had no recollection of.
“I remember everything you’ve ever shared wit’ me.” He put my hand in the center of his chest, on his heart. “All that shit in here.”
My cheeks lifted as I smiled and looked back at the fort. Ishmael was never the type to say much. He was calm – a man of few words – but the words he spoke held power. That calmness was never to be mistaken as weakness though. If you knew Ishmael, you knew he was suave but also a savage. A gentle gangster. My hands went to his neck, just to slide down his chest.
“Ish,” I almost whispered, unfamiliar with the softness of my own voice.
“Look at me.” I gave him my eyes with no hesitation. “Give me what I’m due.”
That only made me smile again because I knew he was dead fucking serious. “I love this. This entire night has been amazing. No one has ever done anything like this for me before. Thank you.”
With a nod, Ishmael smirked with the right side of his mouth. Running his fingers along the edges of it, he looked my frame over intently before telling me to, “Get ya sexy ass in the fort, Rosalyn.”
And I did – happily.
Ishmael left the room briefly. When he met me in the fort, it was with chocolate covered strawberries and wine. As if just having this wasn’t enough, he fed me the strawberries and I did the same to him. There was no more denying it – this man was giving me intimacy – lovingly. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, I liked it.
No.
I loved it.
Jesus.
Ishmael was the only man capable of making me see him as anything other than a client providing a check.
“Paradise?”
My heart dropped. Ishmael only called me by my escort name when shit was about to get real. For whatever reason, I think that was his way of reminding me of the power and control he had over our situation.
“Yes?”
Ishmael sighed as he put the half-eaten tray of chocolate covered strawberries down. He took my hand into his. “I don’t want this thang we got to be professional anymore. I want it to be personal. Real. I want you to be my paradise.”
“Ishmael…”
“I like your ass in a real way, Rosalyn. You know I’m cool with spending stacks on ya, but I’m tryna spend time wit’ ya that don’t require me bookin’ you through an app.”
My eyes blinked rapidly as I swallowed. Chuckling nervously, I lifted my wine glass and gulped all that was left down.
“Ish…” Licking the corner of my mouth, I shook my head slightly. “I can’t, handsome. We’ve already established that this is a job for me. Plus, I’m damaged goods. No one to fall for…”
“It’s too late for that,” he gritted, calmness beginning to fade. “I got feelings for you, and they ain’t gon’ go away just because you sayin’ they should.”
All I could do was shake my head. If it was anyone else, I would have said no flat out with no second thought, argument, or hesitation. But it was something about Ishmael. Something that made me reconsider everything I thought was normal, right, and real.
“I can’t. I’m sorry.”
Ishmael scratched the bridge of his nose before crawling out of the fort and my heart sank. The last thing I’d ever want to do was hurt him. And even that was odd. Normally my first thought would be hurting my wallets by losing a loyal client. But in this case, I didn’t give a damn about the money.
All I cared about was his heart.
I heard him mumbling about how he was trying to treat me like a lady and not a hoe just because of how I made my money and how he had given me way too much access to his heart over the past three years. That he’s been wasting his time trying to introduce me to a life and love that I clearly didn’t want.
Getting out of the fort, I didn’t know what the hell to say. A part of me was okay with admitting that what he’d said was true. I wouldn’t have felt the need to defend myself if I didn’t care. But I did care. And I was too weak to admit why. Not right now at least, and most definitely not to him.
“Ishmael…”
“Save it, Paradise. I’m only good to you for a fuck and a buck, right?” He nodded as he sucked his teeth. With a clenched jaw, he looked my frame over again, nothing like the way he’d done moments earlier. “That’s clear now.”
—
Get ready for a wild ride!